We were never been too late, all love just ends
by inushikacho
Summary: Believing in both of them is all that's left. Right after graduation, one of them needs to leave. But before everything vanished, he explained that if fate is with them, then it's never been too late for the both of them. COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything about Prince of Tennis, Ryoma and Sakuno are created by Takeshi Konomi

**(A/N):** My returning fiction before my school year starts once again. Another RyoSaku fiction to all of their supporters. I know how much despicable I was to end my last fan fiction, so I apologize for it. But this time, I would make a total love for the couple but I wish no one would expect a forever more (smiles). This fiction is full of love but a heartbreaker too. It all says from the title of the fan fiction, hehe. So I hope you'll love this one and read it on its next updates until the end. **Starting point**: Apologies for grammatical errors if ever there is, and repeated-words-like-poetry – it's like my style of writing :)

**Spoiler Note**

**Chapter Note:** I don't know if same traditions also happen in Japan (traditions in graduation specifically : like wearing togas; in my country we always wear them every event, either in pre-school/kindergarten, elementary/grade school, high school or college). But I'm sure about the second-button thingy. I always see them on other Anime and some movies.

oOo Chapter 1 : "**Prologue" **oOo

I was wearing the greatest suit you could ever wear when you are in high school. A special suit that tells you that you are almost reaching to your goals and your real life is about to start. The white cotton I was wearing slowly slid through my fare skin while I wore them in front of the mirror. As I look myself to that parallel world, I smiled and then later on I frowned. Graduation is really remarkable but once the day of it ends, you'll realize that the next day all you'll ever have is pure nostalgia and forlorn.

My heart was beating for two things, achievements and love. After all the years of my hard work, now is the time to feel fulfilled again. Though in high school, you can still feel that you're already near to the top of the hill, you're already reaching the peak of your life. From my childhood years until the year I was that time, standing and facing the whole crowd before me, looking at the carpeted floor with the white toga I was wearing, feeling proud and honored…

As I walked through that pathway, hearing the claps and the cheers, I suddenly recalled my second reason of beating, love. Yes, for three years I had endured the pain and the coldness I know I don't deserve. Wanting to hear his sweetness was my dream and I know within me that sooner or later I would hear it from him. I was hoping for him to see me, even just a little glimpse of my whole being, it would be enough. But right after that day, that day when everything started to change… confessions and reality walked to me. Behind all of them, was a total hider. And I ended up smiling to the sky with love and being loved. My life was starting to have its own worth, and I'm thankful for it.

I wanted to be honest and so was he. I told him that I always waited for a love from him and I always seek him every day of my life. He told me that he was sorry for all the things he had done and he loved me now, and that was the most important. I love him and so was he, but the saddest thing we ended up with was "not committing" to one another. Commitments are wonderful and also worse. He told me once that one reason why he never wanted a commitment was that he's afraid that we'll both hurt each other and he's afraid to see me that way, dreaming and believing, laughing then sobbing. His intentions were what I idolized, and in that way I loved him more.

But what worse thing could have happened was the time when you feel like you need to say goodbye so soon…

"You're leaving?" I asked in frustration and of course in pain.

"I'm really sorry Sakuno, but my parents and I will be moving back to America… I know it's a sudden, but I cannot refuse anymore…" he explained to me with deep eyes of despair.

"B-But why?" I wanted to cry but not in front of him. No I can't, I must not cry in front of him.

"Living in America was much easier than here in Japan. Besides, my mother got a good job back in America and even my father refused in going, but my mother was too persistent. And also…" he stopped and looked at me surprisingly, "I'm going to college in America…"

I gasped quietly, and hid myself by my eyes, "…A scholarship is waiting for me there and they didn't want me to lose it."

I kept quiet for a while and fought for my side, "But you can even get scholarships here in Japan! You're a famous tennis player ever since the nationals had ended, universities will hunt you down for sure!"

"I'm really sorry… But we already bought tickets and I cannot refund them even if I beg my parents to do it…"

I stopped and thought for a little while. Thought of something that could make me feel relieved and later on, I felt what he meant about hurting one another inside a commitment. Now I truly understand, but the part which he couldn't was that even having commitments or not, he'll still break my heart and we'll hurt each other no matter how high or low the impact is. So, I heaved a sigh and placed my hands over my back crossing my fingers to one another, "I see… I guess there's nothing we can do about it…" I looked at him in the eye and pretended that everything was alright within me, "So when are you leaving?"

"After graduation…"

Yes it was the worst thing that had happened. He's leaving right after the greatest day of anyone's life. I thought everything would just be fine, I thought he would stay for me. But what I had thought all over these days were wrong. I couldn't control his life nor be an importance. I felt a little wrong over my dreams, I was starting to regret the days when I hid myself over the timidity of my own. Because that time, I stood over the huge crowd, accepting my diploma and taking a bow to everyone as I cry myself secretly behind my eyes, saying that _everything is too late…_

The program had successfully ended while I was there hugging my girl friends on a corner and bidding our goodbyes and wishes. That wasn't the end and we knew about it, but for me it felt like it was. For the last time, we held each other's hands and talked for a short while, until the other girls away from us started screaming and running all over the place. How could anyone forget the tradition? For female high school students, it's important for them to get the second button of their partner before the graduation day ends, it's like love tradition… you know, fate?

I used to dream that before when I was still in my first years, seeing Tezuka-senpai, Fuji-senpai and the others graduating. But of course, I never wanted their buttons. What I had in mind was to get his second button when our graduation arrives. And that dream could probably come true when either one of us will move on that day. But there I was waving my last goodbye to my friends and prayed for them a good life on the future, not making a single move for that dream to come true.

A few more minutes and I needed to leave already.

Standing in front of the Seishun Gakuen and staring the whole building for more than a minute. Reminiscing the best days and memories I had spent together with my classmates, my friends, and of course with him. For the last time, I murmured myself a goodbye over the grounds. Everything seemed to be so quick, I thought. Days passed me so fast that I didn't imagine that I would be there right now. The feeling was so strong that it had occupied my whole body trembling in tears, cause that time I had totally realized, "We didn't even see each other for the last time… How selfish life can be…"

"Sakuno!" a shout echoed from the empty grounds of the school. I never wanted to look back and inspect if there was anyone in there and think that it was just a big, big, big hallucination, because it would be really a pain.

"Sakuno, at last I found you" but too bad for me, I cannot stop myself from loving him.

"R-Ryoma-?"

"I was looking for you after the program was over. I thought you already left…" he was panting a lot with his head lowered near to the floor.

"I wanted to see the school for the last time… so I said I'll be staying for…" my eyes widened in surprise as he ran towards me and embraced me so tightly as if I couldn't breathe, "R-Ryoma what are you doing?" yet, he didn't speak. He was just there hugging me so tight. So tight that made me break down and cry. "Ryoma … I…"

"I'm really sorry for leaving…" now he spoke, "I forced them but they didn't even listen to me… Sakuno, I also don't want this to happen…"

"I understand that very well" adding gasps of air and groans, "B-But, having you not beside me isn't life at all!"

"Sakuno maybe all of this are planned… I'm trying to fight the pain right now, for a reason that I also feel the same way too. It's sad for me to see you here alone. I know we didn't commit anything but we know that we both belong to one another. I'm grateful that I had met someone like you. But maybe this is the first trial for our real happiness. Sakuno why don't we believe that if we are really meant for each other, our own destinies will bring us back together! If we're away from one another, fate will do its best to get us back together again! I'm saying this not because it's already the end. I'm not going because we're already done! I believe that this isn't too late, we're just starting! So Sakuno please believe me, believe us!"

I was starting to cry unstoppably while it marked on his coat. His words were really perfect. So perfect that I had believed him before he spoke. I nodded him back and embraced him tightly on his waist. My tears couldn't stop falling down from my hazel eyes and I wouldn't mind stopping it, because just a single thought, it might be the last time I could cry to him.

He pushed me gently away, and rubbed my eyes to erase my tears. He showed me his sweetest smile and I force myself to stop from sobbing. He suddenly reached his hands to his coat and his fingers worked. He looked at me again and took my hand in front of us, and then he gave another smile. "I tried escaping from the other girls to get this from me. They've been following me ever since and they didn't stop even for a single minute. But good thing I manage to hide myself over the rooftop. I've been keeping this the whole day for you to have it." He took out his other hand and placed something on my palm. Once he let go, I ended up crying again. "I know you wanted to have the second button!"

Sometimes he's too snobbish. Sometimes he's too good. Sometimes he lies and then he apologizes. Sometimes he yells at me and then later on he'll chant words of love. He's unpredictable and too stubborn. But because of his mistakes and wrong turns, I had started to love him, so special that after a few years, I had neither loved nor go out with anyone else. I got myself stuck on him and never planned to let go. Because right after I saw his plane leave, I started believing that one of these days would be the time when destiny will do its magic.

oOo E n d O f C h a p t e r oOo


	2. Fate makes its move

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

**oOo nukach'an oOo**

**Disclaimer:** Prince of Tennis is created by Takeshi Konomi. Neither the characters used in this fan fiction is not owned by me.

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the encouraging reviews. I never thought that the prologue would make some of my readers sob, well that really touched me. And now, here's the first chapter of the story. I forgot to tell that this story is complete OOC and full POV of Sakuno. I just wanted to remind everyone, so that no one will react about it. Okay, I'll proceed and I hope you'll like this chapter too. Reviews are highly appreciated and encouraging!

**Starting point**: The added names inside the chapter seems like out-of-nowhere, I'm not good at choosing names so I asked a little help with my sister :) But it's me who chose the name 'Mikoto', the other names already came from my sister :)

**Spoiler Note**

**Chapter Note: **Sakuno's assistant, Mikoto, is my own character by the way. I didn't include him on the notes above because he'll just appear on the first and the last chapters. He does have a lot of lines in the story, but to lessen the confusion I excluded him. You can think of an OCxSakuno pair here in this chapter, but it won't take long.

oOo Chapter 2 : **"Fate makes its move" **oOo

Many years had passed since I fell in love with a person who made me feel complete. He loved my weaknesses, he adored my mistakes. He loved me by my worst and I adored him more. But not like how fairytales end, we both left each other, leaving a big mark of hopes and fates inside our hearts. It was unbelievable but it was the truth. We accepted the reality and bid our goodbyes before the knot untied the both of us. Of course it was painful. It pricked me so much that I shed tears more than a full bucket. I thought that it would be a soon for fate to make its progress, but I was totally wrong. I was waiting for a week, then to months, then it turned to years… still, I was standing before my river of dreams by myself.

I never thought of letting go or giving up. I love him so much that made me believe for centuries. Not even a single negative idea had entered my mind within the 5 years of wait. That's how much I trusted him, so pure and innocent. For five years, I had endured the impatience, the wrong thoughts and the boredom of being alone. I had declined a thousand proposals just because of my determination of being with him again. Because I felt right and real at the same time when he told me his magic words that I had never read in fairytales. His magic words spoken by his sweet lips. His magic words that changed my whole life of emptiness and loveless.

"Ryuzaki-san, your students are here" a man with sports attire who worked as my assistant came inside my room. I wasn't really a high ranked person in political basis, but I was a professional tennis coach in a famous tennis school in Tokyo. I taught basic and advance skills in tennis for young and aged students. For more than a year, I've been doing well in this kind of place in my life. Teaching was a good idea, sharing what I had learned and what I had earned. But behind these reasons, there was a main objective why I chose this path. Due to my never ending love, there was a huge instinct that in the path I chose was a secret way that will lead me back to his arms.

"Thank you Mikoto-kun, I'll be there in a minute" I smiled back at him for he was one of the people who helped me through my hard days. I treated him like my little brother, and forever he will be.

I compiled a few documents on my table and placed it near a photo frame. During my years of teaching, a lot of students had wanted me as their coach. I had a lot of befriends with my work and I started loving my students like how a sister would treat her younger siblings. I opened my door and walked through the hallway towards the open tennis courts. I saw my class together with my assistant and I approached them at once. But as I continued myself, somebody took my attention beside the opened gate to one of the courts.

He was tall and fared skinned man. His face was too old that I could already say that he has a family with a wife and lively children. He was wearing a dark coat and underneath it were a white polo and a satin tie of checkers. With his appearance, height and attraction, I already predicted him as a foreigner and a newbie in our place.

I watched him secretly as I approached Mikoto and the students that I would be lecturing that time. I smiled at the students then I dragged my assistant to a corner after I told the younger ones to ready themselves for an 8 laps of running inside the court. "I've been here for a month but nobody told me that a foreigner will apply here"

"Foreigner?" Mikoto looked at me puzzled and checked our surrounding and then he found the man I saw earlier, "Ah! He's no tennis player or applying for tutorials. As far as I heard, he's here for business matters with the school"

"Ah I see…" there was a big bang inside of me that made my heart beat faster, when suddenly the foreigner looked at me and suddenly nodded after one of the major representatives of the school pointed towards me and my assistant. My heart beat not for affections but I just had a feeling of inquisition that behind the points and nods there's a suspicious reason why they did it.

I moved my head a little lower as I thought of a guess that made me feel encouraged and hoped that it would be the start. I was so stuck and stopped, I've been waiting yet there's still no big news that arrived for me. I just followed what had Mikoto told me before about not losing hope and believing of something big the nextday.

"C'mon, don't tell me you're giving up!" tapping my shoulders for support, I looked back at Mikoto and gave out a smile,

"Of course I'm not! I just hope that this would be my special day!"

"Why don't you lighten up yourself a little bit, show more smiles than before! We will never know, fate was only waiting for you to do that, ne?"

That moment, I had felt a big sting inside of me and made my feet stand so tall and my chin up so high. "Yosh!" hanging my hand with a fist and a face of determination, "This would be the day!"

"Haha! Now that's the Sakuno I know!" he said tapping me again more powerful and more encouraging.

"Thank you Mikoto, you're always there for me!" I hugged him so tight like an older sister cuddling her best brother.

"Yeah right, then you're not even there when it's my turn!" pouting his lips. Our little play was starting once again.

"Sorry, big sister is always busy with things"

"Sure, sure, same excuses as always. Why doesn't my big sister treat me on a restaurant tonight so my grudges would vanish?"

"Grudges? Was I that unhelpful too much?"

"Yes, so much!"

"Fine then, my treat on any restaurant you want!"

We used to play such foolish games. Acting then ending up with revelations. Then after revelations were made, comfort was next in line. Mikoto and I, brothers-and-sisters-a-like who always take advantage the moment of fun for soothing the pains of heart and saving secrets for each one's purposes. I treated him as my brother for more than a year, and I let him sleep with me on the same bed on a same blanket. He always let me embrace him for more than an hour for ease. We've been doing the same events in our lives and still we haven't known each other that much. Why did I say so? For every minute we've been together I could hear his heart beating vastly crying out the same name I always hear. He's in love with someone whose been sitting alone beside a river waiting for fate to arrive.

The sun was starting to color the sky with auburn paints just as when I looked at my watch, realizing that it's time for dismissing. "Alright! Practices are over!" I smiled back to the group of students and received full of moans. It was hard yet it was fun, I received continuous compliments and with these, the determination increased within me. And my dreams were starting all over again…

If only he was there to see me looking at the lonely sunset above me with waters beside my eyes and the longing to see him again.

If only he was there to watch me crying myself alone in a corner forcing my own fate to move even if it's already wrong.

If only he was there to catch me crushing down after a long neglect of his warmth.

If only he was there beside me then I wouldn't have been hurting myself so much with the wait.

"Ryuzaki-san" my reminiscing moments vanished, just like bubbles dissolve in midair. Mikoto appeared behind me and I slowly looked at him covering the sadness within me with a mask of smile.

"Ah, Mikoto-kun" noticing his lonely face made me feel the same way whenever I embrace him. "Classes are done. Do you want to have the treat already?"

"Uhmm, I want to, but I guess a little delay showed up. The representative of the school is calling you for a meeting, they're waiting upstairs."

"Meeting?" my brows twitched then later on stopped right after I saw him looking away, "Okay, I'll be there…"

"I'll wait for you in my car…"

"Why don't you come with me? You're my assistant, right?"

He then looked at me with surprise, "That's a big trouble. Besides the meeting is for you, don't you think a little privacy is needed?"

"You're right…" analyzing what he meant, "This won't take long!" then I ran fast inside the building.

The meeting was a sudden and so was Mikoto's face of regret and… jealousy? I continued myself walking on the hallways towards the wide door at the end of the way. As I was about to reach the place, my heart was starting to beat fast while my hands were trembling in coldness. I felt like hearing my own footsteps loudly with my open ears and the hard heavy beats of my own. I was there standing before the door and took a peek at the blurred door glass seeing 2 silhouettes of men sitting on a table while I heard faded murmurs. "It's me Sir, Sakuno Ryuzaki" I called out from the other side after knocking lightly.

"Ah, please come in Ryuzaki-san" the voice, owned by the representatives of our school, answered back.

I fixed my hair and rubbed my clothes for better appearance, and then I opened the door quickly but silently. "Suzumi-san told me that you asked for a private meeting sir"

"Yes, yes, please Ryuzaki-san, take a seat" I nodded myself and continued entering the cold room. First I saw the representative sitting on the comfy chairs with sets of coffee in the table. And second, my eyes widened after seeing this, the foreigner outside the court that morning whom seemed to be suspicious for me. My feet started to shake that I carelessly walked toward the empty seat near the rep and the man. I sat then fixed my skirt slowly. I looked at the both of them and bowed myself for respect. As of that moment, I was preparing myself for instant and surprising news, that maybe I did something wrong over my class that made the white man before me insulted.

"Ryuzaki-san, I would like you to meet Mister Allen, one of the officers of the US Tennis Corporation" our rep started with waving of hands and smiles, and me on the other hand started to get nervous.

"Good Evening, Sir! I'm pleased to meet you! I'm Miss Sakuno Ryuzaki" I spoke with sweet esteem of foreign language and took out my hand for a good handshake but scared to notice the white man my trembling hands. My lips could move fluent English language, and I was thankful for my teachers during my high school and college years for helping me improve it.

"Nice to meet you Miss Ryuzaki" the white man answered back and accepted the handshake, and good thing he didn't notice.

"Mister Allen came here in our school to take a good check of the coaches and the students" our rep continued, "and during the orientation we both had this morning, Mister Allen here noticed your good skills and…"

"Let me continue by here Mister Motoharu" the white man spoke and turned his head towards me, "I want this talk to be straight to the point Miss Ryuzaki"

"It's fine for me, please go on" I answered back.

"Due to your good skills in tennis coaching, the US Tennis Corporation is hiring you to work for us. I know this is all of a sudden, but Mister Motoharu and I had already talked about this and he already agreed. So what do you say? Would you like to go abroad, in America specifically, and work as a tennis coach with several students? There's also a big opportunity for you to have private coaching with famous tennis players! Would you accept our proposal?"

I told myself to be prepared for any news that would come out. But by hearing the words 'go abroad' 'America' my preparations were totally gone that I made myself a complete stunned over the two higher officials before me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, and I wanted to jump in joy for hearing this big great news with my two ears. After the long wait, after all the hardships I had experienced, finally and at last! My fate had started to make its move towards the magical world of fairytales. That once magical words are said, there are really instances that these words works. And by just experiencing, I can say that it's true.

My eyes sparkled and gently opened my mouth, and spoke out the answer.

I walked back to the grounds of the building with my eyes half shut and staring the wide empty floor beneath me. Still my hands were trembling and my head started to ache too much. Everything was starting to become dull within my eyes and suddenly my eyes closed when the fading light of the setting sun stroke me. I just had a realization that made me feel so messed up, causing the strings of fate to loosen up once again and the other string tighter. Did I make a good choice? Will I ever regret this in the end?

I continued myself walking and searched Mikoto's car immediately. With my feet breaking down, I felt thankful after seeing it outside the gate with him inside. I smiled and pretended once more, I shook my head once and then ran towards the car. I opened the door and felt the scent of his car passing me. It might be the last time, so I gave out a smile once I sat down on the passenger seat.

"So what happened?" he started to talk, just like what I suspected.

"The white man we saw earlier was there upstairs, I was totally nervous when we both shaked hands!" avoiding myself to surprise him.

"Tell me already…" his faced showed seriousness

Then I gave up, "Fine then. The white man was asking me if I want to go to America for big opportunities"

"What did you say?"

"Of course I said yes!"

"That's great!" I looked him in the eye and saw them being gloomy even though I could see full smiles of happiness, "We should really celebrate for this!"

"You're right!"

"So when are you leaving?"

"They wanted me to work there as soon as possible, so by next week… I'll be gone"

I really never liked saying words that sounded goodbyes, especially to the ones who created big roles in my life. Goodbyes are like painful words that when you spoke, someone will die so instant. Letting the flame die out between the happiness when the other is leaving feels like a total darkness for the person who is being left behind. Goodbyes are like dark spells that once a person will bid it, everything fails and everything ends. And with Mikoto and me, I didn't want to end the friendship we had during the past years. The bonding is like a part of me already and seeing him waving back at me in the airport was heart-breaking.

oOo E n d O f C h a p t e r oOo


	3. Serendipty is like us

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

**oOo nukach'an oOo**

**Disclaimer:** Prince of Tennis is created by Takeshi Konomi. Neither the characters used in this fan fiction is not owned by me.

**Author's Note: **I was having a hard time logging here in , so while I'm stuck with the difficulties I already continued the 3rd chapter and post it as well. I won't give any spoiler note for now. But just a little trivia; this would be the real start of Sakuno's romantic adventures. We'll see Ryoma again after 5 years, weee! Thank you for supporting this fic (title seems to be long XD) and thank you for the reviews, I gladly appreciate them.

**Chapter Note: **Places and persons mentioned in New York such as schools, famous peoples, etc. are all made-up. Don't be fooled, I haven't got myself in NY, so a single knowledge about the place, I don't know anything. I was just having fun creating the names so I bet it's really lousy! XD

oOo Chapter 3 : **"Serendipity is like us" **oOo

My stomach pushed back in as the plane started to fly off the ground. My heart was beating so fast that made me melt on my seat. I looked above then below, right after that I thought of something that made me wanted to stop. Leaving everything behind, was that really a good idea? Seeing him once again was already my biggest dream. The moment I could touch him again would be the last thing I want to do before I die. But, the friendship I had built and the memories that resembled my true self that time, I had left them in my own home. A year doesn't seem to be that long, does it?

"Wow!" my eyes widened with a big awe worn on my face. I was a new stranger in America and seeing the big buildings and the wide city was splendid for me. Everything was so tall and everything was so incredible. So that's how it feels to be in a place where everything is new to you. Did he even look the same as me, when he came back here in America?

The fact that I was sitting behind the taxi driver and looking outside seeing the wide sea before me made me feel nostalgic and thrilled. Nostalgic for once I had missed how a simple Tokyo of Japan would look like. I was a bit scared that I might get used of the image with the new surrounding and forget the place I had grown up. People intend to forget things, but I know I'm not that kind of person. Because deep within me I had memorized every single thing found in my country, and of course that includes the memories I had treasured through these years. And of course… I wouldn't forget my purpose. The reason of excitement is the eagerness to see him again. That was my main goal of going to America, to see him again no matter what it takes.

"We're here" the driver said while Allen-san went out of the car and opened the door for me. He was with me during the trip, I begged them not to leave me once I arrived in America, I was scared to get lost. The place where I was that time was pretty huge, and if I am not mistaken, I was staying in New York.

"Miss Sakuno, we reserved the biggest room here in the hotel for you. So that you won't feel uneasy. If you want to eat you can just drop by some call downstairs and they'll bring them your orders here in the room. And if you feel like needing something, I'm just right next door" he was talking while I was busy dropping my jaw from amazement.

"T-Thank you Mister Allen, sir… B-But don't you think this room is too big for me?"

"I'm sorry Miss Sakuno, but the head suggested giving you the biggest room for your own safety and privileges"

"The head?" I got puzzled

"I'd better leave you now Miss Sakuno, I'll place your luggage near the bed. I'm sure you still have hangovers due to the flight"

"Thank you Mister Allen" bowing myself over him and the same thing he did to me. Then right after that, I watched him leave.

By the time I heard the door itself closed, I looked around and stepped a foot forward towards the bed ending myself with a big sigh of being alone. The aura was enough for me to cry in loneliness. The big room was so empty even though I was there to occupy it. A person with the same statistics like me would be like a small ant living on that huge room. But later on as I moved closer to the bed and sat on its comfy mattress, I started to lower my head and sob for a minute. I was already missing everything back then.

The moments, the laughter and the plays I used to have when I was still there. Because that time, I was already by myself, without any accompaniment worn on my life. I was already like an early bloomer rose who suddenly popped-up in the muddy grounds in a different season. Like a lost gloomy flower that grew in a small hole on the ground surrounded with nothing but cement and hard stones. I was already alone.

But then, "What am I thinking?! I'm here to see him! I should be happy right now! I should be starting my plans for me to find him here!" I woke myself. Slapping myself lightly on my red cheeks and ruffled my hair up and down. "Mikoto-kun will surely be disappointed if I'll feel pity over myself! Hmmp!" standing and to encourage, I brought my arms up and created a cheerful fist with my pale hands. "Yosh! This is it!"

I could still remember my younger years. I was so clumsy and foolish. Pushing back myself over the trials and loosing myself over the opponents. I was too young and yet too naïve. No one could blame me that time. It's the real me and I love being myself. The way I tied my hair to braids and clipping the excess hair covering my forehead, I could still remember them so clearly like how I look at a memoir inside a picture frame. Young and innocent, that was Sakuno before.

However, who could ever thought that the once gal who always trip herself on a rocky road and gets lost on a path, already knew how to fix herself so instant and knew how to sweep away the sadness with just an instant smile. Everything had changed, I suppose. The knots I make wasn't there anymore, I always let my hair fall on its own, and move as the way it wanted. No more timidity yet the wrong turns was still there.

The simple gal, who had idolized a young tennis prodigy having the same age, had already become a full bloomer of cherry blossoms on winter spring and already loving a successful grand slam tennis player. I never wanted to brag but I was really proud of myself.

"Miss Sakuno, starting today this would be the new place where you'll work. It's a little hard though, because your students are speaking in a different language" Allen-san said after bringing me to one of the top tennis schools in New York, Grand Slam School for Tennis.

The whole school was five times bigger than the school I was working in Tokyo. Courts were tripled than what I get used to and the students were randomized from 8-aged students going through 30s. Adjusting to the new environment and atmosphere was really tough. But for the sake of my own fate and my own hopes and dreams, I endured them without any hesitations and doubts.

"Where the heck am I?!" I panicked inside of me holding the small paper on my hand. It was a simple map of the school that Allen-san had given me before he left. My hands were really trembling and I watched them melting with my eyes soaring from pain. I was again… lost. "It said that I would just be taking a right turn after I passed the court R, but what the heck is wrong?! I'm already lost!" I cried in idiocy. I was late for the important meeting that Allen-san had told me, and yet I was stuck in the middle of nowhere on that huge school. What could get any worse than what I had experienced?!

"Looks like you're lost!" a shadow covered the sunlight in front of me that caused me to look slowly on the owner. I hid the paper behind my back and looked straight on the man. I was astonished from the way he looked. Besides from the height of five feet, he had broad shoulders that fitted perfectly on his skinny body. His eyes were the same color as mine but his dark hair made him more beautiful. He was wearing different shades of red in his shirt and a dark color of knee-length shorts. He looked perfect in his sports attire while holding a can of soda on his hand. "Miss, I think you're lost!"

But what made him worse, was his attitude, "I am not!" I lied, placing the paper back on my pocket. "What makes you think I'm lost?"

"From the way your face expressed…" he answered me back.

"Facial expression?!" I questioned myself, changing the mixes on my face, "I told you I'm not lost!"

"But you do look like lost. Tell me, where should you be right now?"

"Mind your own business, I don't speak to strangers"

"You're snobbish!" he said with a smile worn on his face, making me feel messed up.

"No I'm not!" I insisted using a high tone over him

"Your cockiness makes your pretty face disappear"

Now that made me blush, "How rude of you…"

"I'm just being polite" then he smiled again.

My temper was starting to get worse. I was lost and next I was being fooled by a so-not-cool-sports man.

"The way you talk isn't polite for me"

"But so do you" another smile, "I'll help you find your way, just tell me where you should be"

"I told you I'm not lost!"

"Are you sure? Then, tell me where are you going?"

I stopped. _Damn it! He saw a flaw!_ "Uhmm… Ah…"

"I told you I'm right, you are really lost" he ended up with a big laugh. I flushed myself down to embarrassment and cried in humiliation.

"_Baka! (stupid) _" I slipped my tongue. I spoke a different language that made my case more terrible, I saw him looking back in awe. I thought he was going to ask me what it meant, but it was worse than I thought.

"Hahaha! Now I understand, you are an outsider!" he laughed so hard that made me totally angry. Causing myself to step hardly on his foot and took out my tongue to insult him.

He screamed in pain while I ran away to escape. My heart was pounding in terror that he might follow me and hunt me back. But I was surprised from what I had thought next, was that the only reason why my heart pounded? I went to America to find my lost love but not to bump on other man who embarrassed a newbie around. "Ah!" I shouted and ran faster than my usual. A new day of my life ended up with a big unexpected ruckus, I am such a big looser.

My head was aching and my heart was still pounding in terror. My eyes were soaring while I couldn't stop myself from staring the empty cup of tea in front of me. All I could hear was the sound of the tennis ball hitting on the ground… once… then twice. The yells of the umpires from loves to set matches. I was completely drained. After I escaped from that foolish man I bumped to that afternoon, I found the restaurant that Allen-san told me after two hours of walking and searching. And due to that fact, I lost my mind in exhaustion and confusion.

"Miss Sakuno, are you listening?" Allen-san tapped the table getting back my attention.

"I'm sorry sir…" I apologized and watched Allen-san talked again.

"That's nothing" he said, "Just like what I said, the head thought that rather than letting you teach a thousand students, they decided to make you a professional coach on a specific student."

"Are you sure, Allen-san?" aching head, "A personal coach?"

"Yes, we already found you a student" he spoke as he moved his sleeves backward to look at his wristwatch, "He's supposed to be here right now, I wonder where he is"

My brows twitched, from the time manners he had I feel awful coaching a man who doesn't mind the saying 'TIME IS GOLD'

"I'm sorry for being late…" a voice echoed behind me.

"Ah here he is!" Allen-san stood up and walked passed beside me, "Miss Sakuno, I would like you to meet your student"

I brushed my skirt down and moved the sit lightly on the floor. "Pleased to meet you…" Standing up and wore a big smile on my face, to hide the feelings within me. But as I turned around, my lips trembled while my heart stopped in fright and heard its hard beats.

"Your private student, Ryoma Echizen"

The name echoed inside my ear more than a billion times. For all the years I had waited, the struck of his name inside me was different… making my whole body weak and trembling.

"I bumped to someone a little while ago, I think she was lost and tried to help her, but she suddenly stepped me on the foot and it hurt me a lot."

At long last, I had found him, no more waiting and no more aches. Finally the affections had started within me again, he's there and no words could express how I felt. Due to the sudden emotions, I just ended up covering my mouth with my hands and tears started to flow down from the side of my eyes.

"It's been a while. Long time no see…" he smiled, "Sakuno"

oOo E n d O f C h a p t e r oOo


	4. We lost over our hearts

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

**oOo nukach'an oOo**

**Disclaimer:** Prince of Tennis is created by Takeshi Konomi. Neither the characters used in this fan fiction is owned by me.

**Author's Note:** Chapter four is already up and I think my updates is starting to become faster. As of now, I'm also getting excited from the story goes, since Ryoma and Sakuno already met. I'm enjoying the reviews from my readers and so as the alerts I got. Thank you for "part2" for the review, I just had that realization right after I read your post, I forgot that sakuno's name goes as 'R. Sakuno', I really appreciated it for reminding me!

I hope you'll stay tune in to the story until the end and of course, reviews are always appreciated! :) And don't forget this story is full OOC, changes in characters' personality is a sudden.

**Starting Point:** I was way affected from what I wrote on the first part of this chapter… I had written my feelings... and I could relate to it, still… aww… Don't blame me for some lame elaborations of things in this chapter, I'm not good in explaining scenes like it, I haven't experienced it lol XDD

oOo Chapter 4 : **"We lost over our hearts"** oOo

Love is something that enters a human body which could make a person heat up out of warm affections or make a broken die out of betrayal and rejection. There are different kinds of impact that love strikes us, depending on how much we love a person.

_When you see your only one with another, you die in anger and jealousy. _

_When you see your only one talking to another, you shout and shove the other away. _

_When you hear your only one speaking words of love, you melt your heart out and burry these words within you._

But when you hear your only one speaking words of parting, will you listen to him and accept his decision? Or stop him from what he wants and then later on you'll fight for something you think is yours?

It's hard to accept affection where it's only you who could feel the warmth and see the spark of destiny. You're depending yourself over the other yet he who's beloved doesn't look at you the same way as you do. It hurts, it really hurts. It's like stabbing your heart a thousand times and won't stop even if it started to bleed. And yet, you ,who had suffered the pain, won't stop loving this man not until he loves you back or simply saying… not until you die, then you'll be proud: _I'm fine, someday you'll see he'll look back at me then he'll tell me sorry_. But the meaning of the apology you're expecting was not for apologies of being blind over you, instead apologies were told for the sake that he wants you to stop and let go, forgive him and forget the main reason why you lost everything in your life.

We risk our lives over something we wish to have; however, we can't deny that these things we want aren't meant for us. Striving hard shows bravery and fortitude, but in replacement you burn your own pride and dignity. Saying words that no men can say shows perseverance and true feelings, but for others they are rotten and foolish. Isn't it despicable? Despite of everything you do, only few can understand your own emotions and the least person who could understand how you feel is the one you really, really, really love.

And when the time comes you got over with it, you found someone else. But the feeling of wanting the past's love was still there inside of you, stuck and permanently stuck. Because you had engraved your words of promising that no sea waves can erase…

"Since when did you arrive in America?" he spoke while I was busy stirring my cup of tea. For that moment, I wanted to think that I was only dreaming, because seeing him there before me with his eyes only focused on me is like a fairytale. Some were just so lucky when it comes to love, _and I think I'm one of them_, I thought.

"Ah!" tension doesn't seem to fade quickly, "Anou… I-I arrived l-last week…" was my voice trembling?

"Having a hard time with the language?" he noticed me and it made me blush.

"N-No! I'm fine, r-really…" I looked down staring the cup, avoiding our eyes to meet.

"Then are you mad?" he added quickly

"M-Mad? What for?" I wanted to look up over his eyes, but I was too weak and timid to do it. How stupid can I be, wasting the moment with only the two of us?!

"N-Never mind…"

We both kept quiet for a little while and my hands were still shaky. Why did I need to hide my feelings? I was waiting for all of my life for us to see again yet I kept myself naïve over these things and continued avoiding his eyes met with mine. But as of that moment, I felt him sensing my actions.

"We last saw each other five years ago, exactly the same day I left…" he stared at me, that made me response a look back, "…but I hope you wouldn't avoid me as if we first met"

I'm so stupid, "I'm sorry…" I looked away once more, "I just don't know how to act, now that I saw you… I'm really sorry"

My heart suddenly pounded quickly and unstoppably, right after he stretched out his hand towards me and grabbed my icy hands, "As if nothing happened, why don't we pretend that way?"

I gave a short nod and stared at him again. His eyes, his face and so as his lips, everything had changed so quickly, but one thing didn't: his sense of touch and warmth that carried me through and so was his pure heart that could sense my inner thoughts as well. Though he looked so different from the boy I loved when I was 16, I could still conclude myself that he's still the Ryoma Echizen I used to know.

Loving a person full of unknown emotions and quiet thoughts had affected my life ever since. Not thinking how everything would end up, I was way too persisted for him to notice me. Every moment, I had cherished them. Every memory, I memorized them. Every word, I chanted them. Being so selfish to let others come in, I only wanted him to enter. Each night of fascination and love, I dreamed of futures that only I can see. But it didn't take long when I was stunned over myself after he saw right through me. Not like no man can do, he watched my heart beating and touched them with his own words that only I could hear. Believing, dreams of mine became realities and then my future, little by little, was starting to become my present.

_Impossible person_, that's what I thought. So impossible that only our name-merged can be existed in fairy tales. However, these were just my thoughts. Wrong thoughts that had entered my mind a long, long time ago. So long ago when the trees I see as of the current were just invincible embryoids growing under the muddy streams. Because I had proven myself totally wrong… so much wrong that I almost lived within an endless sleep. Because I had seen, witnessed a princess from a fairytale coming true.

"Starting today, you'll do morning exercise by taking five laps of jogging around the whole park. It's a bit hard though, but I believe this could help you boost your stamina." I dictated over him while I was holding a piece of paper full of written letters and numerals, consisting the time and the things to be done.

"Wait, wait!" he grabbed the paper and placed it on his pocket, "It's still seven in the morning—"

Crossing my arms to one another, I looked at him with amazement, "I am your private coach so you should listen to me!"

He, later on, smiled—as if there was something he wanted to point out, and unluckily there was, "Coaching time starts at 9!"

I blushed. "You called me 5 in the morning and ordered me to go here. I arrived first and then you came 30 minutes late…"

I snob him off, "Mou" then once again, I pouted "I couldn't stop myself from thinking last night. I slept late because of these foolish things running through my head…" His face suddenly turned to a sweet expression, that I overly redden myself, making my head a little lower,

"I wanted to make sure if I wasn't dreaming… I've been waiting for this moment to come, that's why—" I wanted to continue, but something inside stopped me from doing it. My tongue pushed back causing a hang of breath fly before my lips.

"If I would hold your hand, would you stop dreaming and realize that I'm real?" there he goes again, his words really melts me.

My head nodded telling him I agreed, showing my right hand over him and then closed my eyes. I was waiting for a response. I was waiting for something that would catch my lonely hand hanging around. But what I expected to receive was different from what I got. The warmth that my fingertips had longing for; my body received them without any warning. His clinching arms over my slim waist tightened as my hand flew steadily in air. In ease, I had accepted the reality… it was no dream.

"It's more than from what I said, so I hope there are no more doubts…" he murmured softly but I heard him so clearly. His voice still echoed inside my head and his warmth was starting to wrap around me. My body was heated enough for me to realize that I was already with him and it's time for us to make our move, after fate made its own.

"Yes, no more… for sure" due to my own affections, there goes my eyes again, shedding another batch of tears. I had poured enough when we almost said goodbye and I promised myself not to pour once more. But I blame him for making me do it again, chanting his words again even though he knew what will happen next.

After that day had passed, I was more certainly satisfied from how everything had ended up. Though it was not yet the end, I was starting to write a happily-ever-after over the last page of our book. Because by that time, I had believed with all my heart that we would be together… forever. Being with him always was the best blessing I received everyday. The days I had endured for being alone, day by day with him, he replaced them by happy moments. His smiles, his voice and his presence, I never thought that I missed them so much. For a reason that, whenever it's time for us to bid ourselves goodbye right after classes, I felt like I want to stop the time and stay with him, not even it's time to apart.

His love was starting to become an ecstasy flowing through my blood. That when the effect vanishes, I seek for more of it and would drive me so much crazy. The love that I couldn't measure at all has captivated me. I had lost my mind.

Opening the television inside my room, I was stunned from what I had heard, _"The famous Wimbledon Tennis Tournament is almost near!_ _Lists of finalists were already announced. And for our All-Time Grand Slam Ryoma Echizen, he had already made his decision that he'll continue himself to fight more matches for this years Tournament! Would it be another year of title for this renowned tennis player?"_

"Wimbledon? Continue? Ryoma?" I wanted to be proud to see him there, but I felt weak. Wimbledon is in Europe. And I'm assigned in New York. Playing on a tournament means he needed to leave. And just like what I feared, we won't see each other again. How long should I wait this time? After few years, I saw him yet it felt like a short glance, then after that we'll wait once again. Of course he's a grand slam tennis player, how could I ever forget?! Tennis has been a part of his life and without it, his success will vanish. But how about me, am I not important?

"Sakuno!" he called out my name that made me jumped in surprise.

I looked at him with seriousness and demanded back, "Don't call me that way! People might think of something! All they know is that I'm your coach!"

Yes, everything needs to be hidden. I work as a professional coach and he's there to be my student. Calling me by my name is weird for others who will hear it. The talks we would have publicly would all be concerning tennis, tennis and only tennis.

"I've been calling you more than twice" he said silently as he took out his tennis racket out from his bag, "Are you okay?"

Definitely not, I'm not really okay, "I-I'm fine! Don't worry about me! Just continue yourself" I once again lied.

How long would I lie to myself over him? I want everything to work out and return everything we had cancelled before. But how stupid am I to deny my own plans?! How stupid am I to resist what my mind tells me?! How stupid am I to ignore all the things that my heart speaks?! He'll leave me once again and I don't want that to happen. But because of my altruism… I pretended once again. Lie, Lie and Lie! All the things I thought became lies.

The effect had poisoned my whole body. I was not in myself. Mind is lost, lips don't move, ears doesn't hear anything. And just like him, he had seen everything right through me once again.

"Sakuno!" he shouted loudly as I managed to walk home by myself. I heard him clearly, but my body was too weak to respond, thus I continued myself from walking. "Sakuno, wait up!" he said again, still I didn't look back.

For another moment, I'm trying to escape and thought positively over the situation. _He'll leave, he's a tennis player. He'll leave because he needs to. Tennis is his life and I'm just Sakuno, just Sakuno… a past lover_.

"SAKUNO!" grabbing my hand tightly as he pushed me over the wide wall beside me. No one was left in school, it was just the two of us, so ashamed missing the opportunity for all that we could make. "How many times should I call your name?!" he shouted at me with his eyebrows met, showing wrinkles of anger on his forehead. He was pretty mad… No, awfully mad, yet I stared him with unpainted face.

"What's wrong with you?! You've been acting unusual!" this time his shout of anger was mixed with concern. Then, I cried my heart out.

Why do I always end up crying over him during these situations?

Why can't I resist myself from showing my own emotions?

I just love him… why do they need to take him away from me? Isn't that enough?

"Sakuno, what's wrong?" grabbing my shoulders with care and looked me sweetly in the eye. Still, my eyes were weeping and it was unstoppable making me feel sore. "Tell me" his hands moved from my shoulders to my back, pulling my body towards him and letting me hear his heart beating.

"Wimbledon…" I confessed with a shaking voice. Though my face was buried within his chest, I could sense him reacting from what I said and still I continued, "I heard the news last night…" whining, "…You're going to Wimbledon"

I didn't hear him spoke, so I went to the exact point, "Ryoma you don't know how much I had waited for this day to come in our lives! Everyday I prayed for fate to bring us back together again. Everyday I wait—I wait patiently without any wrong thoughts entering inside my head. I believed from what you said! I didn't stop myself from waiting even though it felt like an eternity!" his embrace was getting tighter, "And now, you're going to Wimbledon and the dream that I want to be always with you had now disappeared! You're leaving again!"

Silence came and the only thing I could hear was my whines and his heart. Again, I had failed my self, "Ryoma, I love you" I breathe, "I do really still love you! You know I--"

That time I want his heart to melt over my words. I want him to feel weak over my embrace. I want him to endure the same way I had endured him for my entire life. Love me more than I did. Accept me more than I did. Because that's the only way to pay back everything he had given to me. And I was starting to love it, for he had captured them and I could sense that little by little he was treasuring them inside of him. He grabbed my last word with a pleasing kiss over my lips, battling for the things we want to achieve together, taking every pains out and replace them with lust and pleasure. My heart pounded and I could feel the heat rising through my head. Heart beats faster, warmth enters. He had enthralled me again, but this time differently. From left to right, we moved our head oppositely to one another. This kiss was special, yes it was really special. Because this time we had touched not only our hearts, but also our lives; and it just proves how much of everything we had built this world of our own.

"Back then" I heard him panting, "Back when we were still young… I could still remember my words… and I'm still keeping them within me…" his voice was becoming sweeter than ever, disintegrating me. "I haven't forgotten them and like you, I feel the same way… Sakuno, I've wanted this day to arrive… and not like before, I will not hang us together with the same words…"

He returned his hands back from my spine, however through my waist. With his head inclined above my shoulders, he muttered "Come with me to Europe! Be my inspiration through all my tournaments! Not as a coach, but as a person who loves me. I want you to be right here beside me… I love you"

Yes, they were not the same from the words he spoke to me before, because this time, these words brought up together and struck me with a higher intense and impact. I answered him with a light nod and buried myself even more through his chest. I moved my fragile arms and wrapped it to him. How lovely it is, to see us back, how nostalgic it is…

Predicting how love revolves is crazy enough for you to stay in touch with a person you love. Despite of all the imperfect things in life, there comes a time when a destined prince arrives. Saving you from harmful lights and painful thoughts. He'll tell you that life isn't that perfect for you to feel complete in an instant. But he won't tell that he'll stay beside you to let you feel happiness, you won't hear it from him. Even a single breath, you won't hear anything from him. Instead, you'll suddenly feel complete one day when everything was saved from the darkness of pains, all because of him. And then you'll end up realizing, that the world you both created is now revolving only for the both of you. No one else, but US.

oOo E n d O f C h a p t e r oOo


	5. Soon we'll make the great escape

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer:** Takeshi Konomi created the anime Prince of Tennis and that includes Ryoma Echizen and Sakuno Ryuzaki

**(A/N):** I hope everyone had read the review I posted a few days before, about the reason why I updated late. I really apologize for that and for me to pay, here is the 5th chapter of this fan fiction. Thank you for still supporting this fanfic.

**Spoiler Note**

**Chapter Note:** Actually the introduction of this fic basically, it was I who was speaking. The book that I was talking about is Paulo Coelho's work : By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept. I didn't elaborate too much about the plot of the whole story, because I might misinterpret my understandings about the contents of the book.

oOo Chapter 5 : **"Soon we'll make the great escape" **oOo

I've read a book before when I was still in Japan. It revolved about a girl who fell in love to her childhood friend. They didn't know how it feels to be loved, but she knew that she was already falling. After a few years they needed to separate to fulfill their own dreams. He wanted to explore the world while she was left in their homeland to achieve her own goals. Later on, she received a news that her childhood friend was entering seminary and performs miracles. However, by the time they met again, he proposed to her that he loves her and he sacrificed his own destiny just for her.

After reading that book, I shed my tears and tore apart. Because within my three nights of reading, it made my heart wept and sore from all the instances that love and destiny could bring. _Leave me and follow your mind tells you_ says the fate. _Leave me and follow your heart tells you_ says the love. Between two things, we always end up choosing the path we'll be walking. Yes, it's contradicting us, and that's the hardest part of all.

For love we fight. For fate we follow. But we know that we can't fight because it's destined for us not to fight. We can't love the one we want because it's destined for us to break his heart. We can see it clearly, but we're afraid to lose it and admit it. Then after the long time of agony and torment, you'll regret and then you'll end up finding yourself in the darkness. It's pitiful because despite of everything, not all of the things in this world, you can achieve them so easily. Even breaking through isn't enough to release the torture of every memory that sucked your whole life. It had slowly poisoned your mind, and that's the fear that everyone is facing right now.

"Are you sure?" I asked with puzzlement worn on my face, "Going to Wimbledon?"

"What's wrong, don't you want to be with me?" he answered me taking my hand beside him, and held it tightly.

"It's not that I don't want to…" I was starting to blush myself over my seat, "But-"

"No matter what your excuse is, you can't turn back anymore." He smiled with a pinch of teasing in the end, "We're already in the plane"

He told me that we needed to leave as soon as possible and get to Wimbledon, even though it's a week before the game. He chose the most private place inside the plane we rode. When I asked him why, he gave me one answer, 'If we'll take the most public place in this plane, then there will be a lot of people disturbing us. You understand, right?' Yes I did. But what he never knew was that I saw a flaw behind all the actions we both made. Private to Privacy. After that special kiss we had, we were already hiding ourselves from the eyes of the public. I didn't know the exact reason why and I didn't bother knowing it at all. I was so captivated by him that all I ever thought of was how to spend my time with him.

My heart pounded so strong right after he laid his head above my slender shoulder. It was weak, but for him I endured the heaviness and fight for something I had been dreaming before. The picture book I was imagining through the past years was full of pictures of him. Images of scenes that I wanted to do with him. Walking along the long way with our hands wrapped to each other completing the warmth we needed; cooking him dinners for special nights with dishes created by my own hands filled with love and passion; and of course lying with him on the same bed where I could feel him so deeply that my body would melt over the love he's been giving me for the whole time.

"R-Ryoma-kun?" I mumbled after checking if he was really sleeping. 'cause you know, he might be fooling around again. I moved my hand trying to withdraw from his grip. But as soon as I felt the air of release, I was surprised to see him stretching out his hand to take it back, but this time with more strength. He held my hand so tight as if he didn't want to let go, while I who was still flushing, kept quiet and made myself busy watching over the bed of clouds we passed by.

It was amazing to think that in the end we would still hold our hands the same way we hold them back when were still young. Only the difference was how much of our emotions were filled in every touch we made now. More love and more zealous than before. Tighter and it was more intense. I had seen love dies in so many ways and too many times yet the fact that our love becomes stronger made me refuse from the saying that all love ends in an instant. Because if you work out for the same goals in your hopes and dreams you might create a world of your own filled with completeness and affections. A world where anger and jealousy comes around once in a year. And then you'll realize how beautiful your life can be.

"Around the field 5 laps" I shouted as I took out the stopwatch in my pocket, watching him ran around the huge field during our training. Reporters and photographers were everywhere in that field. Flashes of lights were continuous and so as the voices, sounded like chants, of reporters a few meters away from me. All of them came, maybe because the famous grand slam tennis player was there for training. Or maybe they want to see how we make the training for him. Or maybe the press wants to ask him questions regarding the coming Wimbledon Tournament. But after hiding myself from complete ignorance in the noises, my heart melted when I heard one of the reporters spoke…

"_Right here in front of me is the All-time Grand Slam Tennis Player Mister Ryoma Echizen entering a full tennis training under the instructions of a female tennis coach, isn't that incredible?"_ noticing a cameraman changing its view, turning towards me. Yes it was, but then, that was just the introduction or simply the start of my training for him. The results of the improvements and the weaknesses of my coaching will appear on the first day of his match in the tournament. And that made me feel nervous. If my coaching turned out weak, I would be kicked out of my job and they might send me back to Japan immediately.

I felt my feet shaking up to the tips of my toes. I was worried that my face would suddenly create a different emotion that may be misinterpreted. You know how showbiz goes; creating stories that doesn't make any sense. Well, I don't feel secure if our real relationship be told in public. But then, wouldn't that be wonderful? We won't make ourselves tough on each other. And we'd stop pretending ourselves in the eyes of the people in front us. Then, they could see how much a couple could love themselves that they could endure pains and fight for the future they wanted.

"How was it?" he spoke as he fell on the bench, with his own sweat marking on his skinny body over his shirt. I could hear him panting in exhaustion, but I believe in him, he could still go on.

"Five minutes, twenty-five point two seconds, not bad…" I looked at the stopwatch I was holding and turned my head towards him, "But it would be better if you finished it less than five minutes"

"That's exhausting" hearing him complaining, as he grabbed the bottle of water beside him.

"It would develop your speed! And that's a good advantage over your opponent" playing wisely with a childish act. I paused myself and then I continued again, "Giving those unexpected volleys and hits using a fast speed is impressing!" I wanted him to be impressed over my words; so that he could say that I did my all just to achieve the things he wanted to have. I fought my fears and weaknesses to be just like him.

"Sure" he stood up taking his tennis racket out of his bag with a big confidence worn on his face. I was expecting him to say a splendid response, but he just continued his walk and passed through me hearing him whisper, "Just make sure that there will be a payment after this" If you know what he meant you would feel awaked.

"Mou!" I shouted with traces of flush, _He mustn't say that on public_, I demanded inside as I watched him again.

Isn't it annoying? NO talks, NO holding hands, NO sweet smiles, NO special moments. Everything that could show any flaws are prohibited. Paparazzi, hidden camera and reporters are everywhere. No freedom, no privacy. It's starting to become an annoyance. From the whole day of training, skin-frictions were never seen. You can't see him touching the tip of my fingers or even a single poke. For the whole day we force our hearts to stop shouting both of our names. Even if our bodies are twitching already, we can't show a single affection out of the million media in public. That's why we wait till the sun set itself and spread its dusk through the sky for the time of our own to arrive.

The last light was flashed for the final round. I opened the door and helped him entered the car. The reporters were terribly persistent to get a single word from me but the heads who recruited me forced me not to say anything in any cases of it. So I refused all the microphones handed before my lips as I closed the door before the driver's seat. When I felt my bottom hitting the comfy chair below me, I slowly leaned my spine at the chair and heaved the deepest sigh I ever exhaled. I raised my chin a little higher and looked at the rear mirror above and watched him looking at me.

"There are too many people around here!" I demanded as I placed my hands over the wheels. "Do you always ignore these people when you go out?"

"I sometimes encounter a few reporters, spotting me in a crowd, or during my training." He looked away from me, "But I wonder how persistent they became after hearing the new coach I had…" teasing.

I pouted myself over my place and started to hit the pedals and drove the car away from the busy people. I know, he knew the answer from his hanged-question and I didn't bother adding it up to avoid spicing up the topic. I was afraid to make certain actions or tell words that may ruin our evening together. By the time we rode that expensive car of his, the moment we had been waiting for already arrived. The sound of the engine was quiet and it made me nervous a little. I could hear the beat of my heart and for some moments I felt like hearing his too. The temperature was rising up and I was starting to lose my control over my driving. Imaginations ran and so was the time. For a few minutes, I noticed the silence in us. And because of it, I felt disappointed and frustrated. If there would be no actions or conversations made for the next minute, then our evening is just a waste of time. I cried inside.

_How do people show their affections to the one they love? _

_What do you really feel when you fall in love? _

_In what manner does our heart beat so fast?_

_How does it react? _

_Will you jump or will you stay yourself standing? _

It's really been a long time since we last saw each other. And because of it, I couldn't read his mind anymore or even see his actions. I almost forgot the feeling of his embrace but I attained them not so long after we saw each other again. That special kiss we had was a history. The battle we fought with that kiss, it became a reason for me to love him more. And how I wished, the time would stop for the both of us, where we could spend the whole night together, not minding another day of covered hearts.

"Stop the car" he suddenly spoke at my back and I looked at him with confusion and puzzlement.

"Eh? Right now?" I panicked.

"Just pull over" he added with no emotions worn in his face.

With my complete obedience, I slowly pulled the lever beside me and stopped it in the side, where few people passed by. After the car stopped, he suddenly took out his cap and covered his identity with a dark shade of sunglasses. I watched him walking through the back of the car and headed to the side of my door. My eyes were bigger in shock when he suddenly opened it so swiftly. I thought he was planning to eat outside, in a fast-food or a fancy restaurant, but it was impossible. There were neither restaurant around us nor fast-food stalls.

"Move…" he said, looking at me straight to the eye.

"What?" I was getting more confused.

"I said move, let me drive" he persisted.

"I can't! As your trainer, I must be responsible enough and be your driver!" yet I fought my side.

"Training is over." I was shocked to hear it from him, "Now, can I drive?" smiling at me with a pushy face.

I moved my hips and raised my bottom from the chair. Stepping on the other side and sitting on the passenger seat. For some reason I felt the keenness to follow his order and never thought of refusing and fighting my side again. It felt like he had that absolute obedience that he could use to control my thoughts. And I hate it when I feel that way. When he saw me sitting on the next seat with my eyes focused on him, he entered the car and drove immediately.

Another moment of us was in complete silence again. And still my mind was wondering from his sudden action. With my unspoken heart, I looked out the window and watched the cars and buildings we passed. I was starting to feel numb and insecure over our situation. My hand was left open as it was laid on my side, feeling nothing but dullness. The compassion was starting to fade but not the affection I was feeling. I was just uncomfortable of how he reacted and how we looked together on that car. And for some time, I hope he would stop the car and confess to me again.

And surprisingly he did.

"Sakuno" my heart jumped thinking that he had read my mind so instant. With his head turned towards me, he still kept his hand over the wheels.

"Y-Yes?" hearing my own heart beat and my love rising.

I saw him moving his hand as he touched mine. With another tightness and warmth, I felt safe. "I want to apologize"

"Eh? B-But what for?"

"I know you're taking things hard around you. The press and the media. I know it really disturbs you a lot…"

"T-That's okay" I smiled even though he had me struck. "I understand… And really, I'm not—"

Feeling his lips laid on me made me weak. My heart pounded after my words were stopped. For some reason I had felt myself alive. That after the hard day on training, he didn't forget to feel me and remember to love me. Tongues battling with our prides losing, we didn't mind them at all. For love we are fighting and for the both of us we will continue ourselves from loving. Until the comfort, love and the passion stays with us, there are still hopes and dreams to come true. That's why we always seek the lonely hand and touch them for longing and wanting. So that incase it felt like it's disintegrating, we were there to put it back together again. I blushed and heated. I moved him a little farther to tell him to stop. I covered my mouth and panted for a while. I watched him opening his eyes and returned to his exact position before we kissed and when I gathered enough air, I spoke.

"You said that there could be paparazzi around, aren't you scared?" I reacted. But I never meant that I never wanted a kiss.

"Not that much" he answered, "I have some hands, who can threat them from publishing their non-sense news" it felt like a joke but when I looked at him he was serious.

"If that's the case, then can I ask, why are we hiding our relationship?" I know it was not a good question to ask, but it came off right from my mouth. Because somehow, I needed answers in my questions too. Placing his hands back to the wheels, I saw the alarmed face he created, and it made me feel warned.

He started the engine and started to drive. I waited him to answer my question, but he was just running away from me once again. Because when he opened his mouth to speak, he just returned another hang-up question to me, "Sakuno, have you ever asked yourself 'what if I was not the tennis player people loved and adored?'"

In an instant I was stopped. I couldn't open my mouth to answer for the fact that these words had made me struck again. Yes I had thought of it before, but I forced myself not to think about it once more. Because seeing him every day was enough, but I was wrong. Seeing him was not enough to feel his love, and that was what I needed the most.

"I'm sorry to make you feel these way…" he said, "Don't worry, I'll handle this. It won't be long until I get everything under control…"

For the last time, he held my hand and let his heat flow within me. I stared our hands in bond, and looked at him with a worried face. The words he said was peculiar but I tried understanding them.

I devoted myself to become a tennis coach. I dreamed to be the professional teacher that everyone would seek for just to have my instructions. I worked in the most high class tennis school in Japan so that everyone would look up to me. I reached the goal I wanted. The goal that was built out of the affections I had for a famous tennis player who had been a historical in the world of Tennis. I built that goal for me to see him again. Because I believed and I waited after the words he spoke before me, before we separated. I didn't mind how long it would take as long destiny would take us back together. But each day passed, the wanting of his presence reached my limit. Yet, before I collapsed myself over the hardest trial I thought I had, destiny had finally made its move for us to see each other again, just like what he had said. I was sent to America and not so long after arriving, I was assigned to be the trainer of the All-time Grand Slam Tennis Player, whom I had loved for a century. And next, I found myself in Wimbledon, riding in this famous tennis player's car with him as the driver who had spoke another words to be believed. And me, who couldn't refuse a single thing about him, held his hand tighter than how he did and for the last time, believed him with a love forevermore.

After I opened my eyes, the sun caressed me with its warm straight of light. The Championship Wimbledon Tournament… had finally started. The green court awaits the players in full dedication to win. And every strike that will echo will soon symbolize as the witness of the future coming for us.

oOo E n d of c h a p t e r oOo


	6. Absences of our mind and body

We were never been too late, all love just ends

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer:** Takeshi Konomi created the anime Prince of Tennis and that includes Ryoma Echizen and Sakuno Ryuzaki

**(A/N):** This would be the payback after my long update. I really do apologize for it. Still, my computer isn't fixed yet, so I need to wait for another time to let my brother fix it. But I'm keeping the track of the updates as quickly as possible. Thank you for the critics that you had given me, I also realized that the previous chapter was a bit slow. I really hate it when the updates are not on track; I always lose the enthusiasm of my writing. The style loses then, the chapter becomes lame. So bear with me for a while, I'll make this chapter great as much as I can. Thank you for still reading this fic! XD god bless to everyone and reviews are much highly appreciated. Expect a late but a good (hope so) update next chapter!

**Chapter Note:** I apologize for some vague explanations to some tennis games, I watched the Wimbledon tournament everyday to see the flow of the games. So I hope I could get it right. I'm also sorry, if it'll become lame again. I really do my best with the story, I hope I get it right this time. (cries) Players and some connected events for the tournament are all made up! :D

oOo Chapter 6 : **"Absences of our mind and body" **oOo

"Ryoma Echizen versus Mike Williams, playing for the best of five, will now start"

Everyone clapped their hands as the called players entered the court. I tried to turn my head and watch him with myself feeling of bragging him to everyone. I could see the dedication of everyone's support to him as they all watched him placing his bag unto his bench. But with these eyes focused on him, I could catch some who took fast glances towards me. It's really ridiculous that a woman would take the daily training and improvements of the famous tennis player; because ever since the history of our lives began, the race of sexes had arisen. But for me it was not because of the race that's why they were looking at me, something behind their looks and stares was a hidden agenda of jealousy and curiosity.

The umpire raised his hand as the players approached him. They shook their hands with him and the game started as one of them stood on his court. Silence had occupied the entire court with their hands crossed to one another. Silence and concentration. Dedication turns to winning. As the ball bounced from the verdant court of Williams, everyone screamed as the umpire shouted "RETURN ACE! Love-15!" Just like what they had expected with the Grand Slam Tennis Player, a service ace was not impossible to be heard during the match.

It was the accuracy of the ball hitting the racket of his made it work. Yet some looked at me with amazement. Then I heard someone saying, _Echizen had improved … Could it be because of his new coach_? Yes it was flattering and with my cheeks turning red, I lowered my head as if I was praying. I wouldn't brag myself being his coach, because I knew within me that he was stronger and he knew a lot than me. So no matter what they say, nothing seemed to neither attract me nor affect me. But only for one thing…

'_What if I never became the famous player everyone adored'_ he says. It's true that not just only once, I had thought about it a long time ago. We wouldn't dare hurt ourselves from hiding to everyone what we really feel. We wouldn't bother ourselves waiting the final dusk to arrive just to feel ourselves touching one another. We wouldn't be sacrificing our own lives just like right now, if both of us had earned the word freedom within us. But it's really a pity, it's what we all call reality, and we can't change them at all.

I returned myself back to the game and forced myself to focus on the current. My head followed the bounce of the ball, and I thought I was the only one, but everyone in the audience followed it as they kept their silence within themselves. It's amazing how they praise him and it's too surprising to see their love over this Grand Slam Tennis player. For a moment, I thought that everyone had been inspired because of his winning games. Everyone had relied on his matches just to aspire their own goals. It's like giving three claps over a right answer in a class. But despite of everyone clapping, there was only one student who didn't.

"Serving for the Match" the umpire announced as he repeatedly bounced his tennis ball on the grassy court. Everyone's eyes were sparkling and I, on the other hand, was weeping. With the last bounce, he lowered his knee and held the racket tightly on his left hand. He threw the ball up and as he hit them, everyone shouted 'Twist Serve!' Provoking was his real intention in every beginning of the game. Too bad that his opponent walked over his strings and tripped over and let himself fall on the game.

Mike's head was weeping cold sweat and everyone who noticed it could sense his emotions. This was his last chance and he gave out his whole power. His feet ran and his mind controlled his body. But as he swung his racket, yes he hit the ball but his smiling face was replaced by bewilderment.

"Out!" they say, "Game and Match won by Ryoma Echizen, 6-3!" they clapped and they cheered. With their hands above their heads, they sway them with amazement on the game. He, who was hiding his happiness, walked over his bench and raised his hands in return. I smiled and his glee reached inside me. I stared at him with a perfect smile and in an instant, I saw him swaying his head towards me as he gave me his smile in return. Of course I flushed myself, but I hid them. Another hiding technique was shown before the crowd.

For a moment our hearts joined as one, but something, yes there was something between us was growing stronger and I won't consider it as something that could tighten up the bond we were building. My mind was in complete darkness.

"That was a great match, Mr. Echizen" a reporter said before us, after I realized that we were before a crowd of cameras and reporters inside a press conference. I wouldn't mind seeing and hearing him answer piles of question, but being there as one of the panelists to be questioned… is odd and bothering.

"Thank you!" he answered back as he sit back and relax. How could he relax in such a time like that? How could he let me sit beside him before the reporters? What will I say?

"First and foremost, Mr. Echizen, how is it like to back in Wimbledon" one questioned.

"I feel pretty nostalgic right now. You know, I could still remember the memories I first played here in the grounds"

"During your first game this afternoon, what can you say about the improvements of the match?"

"Playing with Mike Williams is really an honor, and I could really see his dedications to win the match. He's really a good player and to think that we had reached the fifth game is amazing."

"But with the other improvements, how about yours Mr. Echizen?" I could sense that the question was going somewhere else, and when I saw everyone looking at me again, I knew I was right, "We now see your new tennis coach beside you. How was your new line-up of training?"

"Ah! Yes, the training with my coach here is effective." Liar! "She always makes me different dietary meals and everyday he teaches me different exercises to strengthen up my stamina and muscles." True but still he's a liar, "Sometimes, she scolds me when I don't follow her instructions…"

Lying in front of the press, how unmanly; "How about you, Miss Ryuzaki?" hearing my name was surprising, another question that needs to be answered. But how come my questions were never been, "You're coaching the famous Grand Slam…"

I was trembling so much and I didn't know what to answer. Two reasons, this was my first time to be before a press and secondly, I was afraid to say something that would reveal the real between us. I opened my mouth slowly but even though voices were not yet heard, I could feel my throat shaking and making different noises. I shivered, "Ah… o-of course, I feel proud to be his c-coach, and I-I'm glad that h-he welcomed me to be his p-personal coach…" too much to be said, but I decided to keep it instead.

"Mr. Echizen, this would be our last question for you, some people say that they are a bit surprised to see your new tennis coach as a woman. What's your reaction about this?"

Some means everyone for me. I guess they had questioned my presence to be his coach. How pitiful for my side. If they only knew the hardships I took just to be beside him again. But who can I blame for this? They may have known our main purpose if they only knew the truth behind our lies. They wouldn't bother asking themselves a lot of despicable questions and discriminating opinions about me. If only they knew. And too bad everything I said starts with 'if', everything I wished were just too nonsense to be true.

"But tell us, everyone had been asking themselves about the truth between the two of you! Rumors are spreading and it's really inconvenient to let everyone believe in something that they aren't sure. So, can you tell us, Miss Ryuzaki and Mister Echizen, your relationship? What we mean is, is there something hidden between the two of you?"

Time stopped so instant and feelings were spreading so fast. Everything was calculated and every trial had their reasons to be experienced. But the trials we were facing right now, what reason does it pursue for us? Is that reason so risky that's why we need to suffer like this? The answers I always want are easy to be answered, but how come no one tells me? For the last time, yes for the last time, whatever it is that we will answer before this press, I will believe them, and I would take them as my answers.

I stared the microphone before me and I opened my mouth. "Honestly, we're…"

"Childhood friends" he interrupted. "We were friends when we were still in high school back in Japan. Actually, her grandmother was my tennis coach when I was a member of the tennis club I used to grow with. We were friends during those times and we were like tennis buddies."

The burden of our lies increased as the path for us to escape was slowly vanishing before our eyes.

I entered the car and so was he. I looked deeply on the glass window beside me and I stared the droplets of rain striking us and with the road we passed by. The dusk had finally captured the sky but the dark gloomy clouds conquered more. The coldness I felt was extremely high but it was neither cause of the rain nor the air from the car. He could have said the right instead of the false. People say they want to have a passive and righteousness in their life, then why do they need to choose some things if they are true or false?

The breath I was releasing was creating the clouds right before my lips but in a half-second they disintegrate. Just like how we built the world for us, it was slowly disintegrating and a big bricked wall was hanging now before us. I choke myself in fear.

"It would be better if you'll brighten up your face than following the gloominess of the rain" he spoke after he noticed my imperfect smile.

"Yet, it would be better to be true than to lie to yourself" my voice became stiff and I hate to admit that I was loosing myself already.

"Are you mad because I brought you along to the press?" he looked at me as he slowly pulled over the car in the gutter of the road, "If that's so, I apologize."

"You said you will work things out! But you missed the opportunity to correct our mistakes! You told another lie, and it's going to burden up again!"

"I may not have told the current, but what I said about being your childhood friend is not a lie!"

In my surprise, I was left unspoken with my feelings. That was a fact but I was not satisfied, "It may not be a lie… but, the opportunity for us to be free had vanished…" I started to cry, "Ryoma, I want to be honest with you…" I looked at him with pity and seeking for sympathy, "I'm tired of hiding anymore"

With my teary eyes and blurry vision, I could still see him releasing his hands off the wheels and holding his head in bewilderment, "I couldn't hold on anymore… this isn't what we both wanted, is it?"

I cried and still continued to cry, both of us were starting to become more fragile. "I'm sorry…" that's what he said then afterwards he reached inside his pocket and brought out his white handkerchief. He started the engine and handed over the white cloth to me, "Fix your self. We're going to a gathering. I want you to be my date for tonight…"

Despite of the heavy rain that the sky had shed for tonight, I was still amazed by how 'this-gathering' he said was pushing through. Few blocks away from our hotel was a luxury hotel (which I concluded to be the hotel of wealthy people) composed of more than twenty floors and a wide opening full of plants and grassy land. When we left the hotel where we were staying, I noticed the change of car to a white limousine. It was a sudden change of emotion that's why my heart jumped so instant. I was riding the limo on my own with an unknown driver at the front. I wanted to ask the driver where was he, but due to some timidity that I had kept for all of my life, I asked myself instead.

Probably it took us half an hour before we reached the hotel venue. When the limo stopped before the huge fountain, I looked my reflection over the window glass to see if I look perfect for that night. My lips glimmered with its auburn painted flesh. My cheeks shined as my hair bounced over my slim shoulders. And as the door slid beside me, the dark silk over my hips flowed together with my body. And when I took my first step on the gleaming tiles, continuous flashes of light approached me with sticky jealousy eyes.

"T-Thank you…" I said after the man who opened the door. The entrance was too perfect that I didn't want to spoil it nor destroy. My knees started to shake when I saw everyone in the lobby looked towards me. With their open mouths and steamy stares, I swayed my hand to fix the hanging curvy bangs on my forehead. The reddish cheeks that replaced my pale ones started to emphasize as I blushed in awkwardness.

"I thought you made a back-out…" a man approached me as I ought to know to be my partner for the night.

"Why did you dress me this way?" I stamped my feet in anger, "And why did you bring me in such a place!"

"Tonight is a grand event for the players in Wimbledon. And I think you're perfect to be my partner!"

"But, don't you think they might think of something awkward again?"

"I thought that's what you want…" he said out of puzzlement, "Let's go, everyone are waiting inside"

He stretched out his arm towards me and I, on the other hand, took his arm and we both entered the main hall with our arms wrapped to one another. Like a prominent ball we used to do back when we were in high school, how nostalgic it is. And as we stopped over the thin stair case before us, everyone on the lower floor stared back at us. I held his arm tightly as if I want to run away, but as he took his first step down on the stairs, he pulled me lightly that made me move for him.

It's pretty to see Cinderella walking on the ball with his prince charming and everyone looked at her with jealousy and greed worn on their perfect dresses that didn't fit over their faces. And just like how Cinderella felt that time, I also wanted to scream in glee and brag them about it. But who was I to brag for such occasion? First and foremost, it's the grand slam who invited me in the party and not me.

"Sakuno, I want you to move the way you like." He spoke as we were in the half of the stairs, "Don't mind everyone thinking the negative and false things about you…"

"O-Okay…" I murmured

Then his voice changed suspiciously, "And if you hear something odd, don't try to believe it…"

In my awe, all I ever did was to nod myself and gave out the prettiest smile I could ever show. When we reached the real floor of shining porcelain beneath us, one by one wealthy people approached our place. One of them was wearing a dark tuxedo and the woman beside him was wearing a high-class silk of olive green. A lot of people had dressed themselves extravagantly. They looked very prestigious. But for me, how did I look? It was surprising to think that he would dress me up with such a simple dress. Not like other people, I wore something like a simple lady would wear, that I think that's what he wanted. It was an ashen dress with black lacy ribbon worn on my hips, tied like those in kimonos. The length was not as long as how people wore on that day; the tip of the skirt only reached the top of my knee. Besides from the color and length, it perfectly fit my slender body that emphasized my skinny shoulders with the strings attached on the dress.

"My, what a wonderful lady you got there Echizen-_san_" the woman, who first approached us, complemented as she looked at me with her judging emerald eyes.

"Thank you" I saw him smiled and in return of the complement she gave for me I smiled back.

"Well, I hope both of you will enjoy the party!" the woman finally said, and we both left her alone on a corner.

I was holding his arm for more than an hour but it seemed like no one noticed it and it made me feel relieve for such reason. After a few minutes of roaming the hall, we went out of the huge arc of the hotel and headed towards a huge wide garden filled with bushes of roses and different flowers. When we finally reached the grassy land outside, we saw a group of people near the garden maze few inches away from the small lake made up of lilies and green water. Once I looked at the group, I felt my body shivered and it made me step back and pull Ryoma's arm.

"What's wrong?" he said.

"I don't feel comfortable to be with them…" I answered honestly, without doubting to say something wrong.

"Don't worry, all you need is to show up, you don't need to talk to them. When they asked you something, just answer as you will"

"B-But…"

"I'm beside you… trust me…" he pulled me lightly as he made his next step again. And while we were getting closer and closer, I heard echoes from the group with a pure accent of British language.

"Ah, what a perfect timing, it is Echizen-_san_, the main guest for tonight" a man in a white coat said while I saw him stretching out his hands towards us, "And I see you have a pretty lady with you"

"How elegant she looks!" the woman beside the first man who talked to us added the complement, "Is she?" she then asked with a face of puzzlement and excitement on her face.

"No…" Ryoma replied back after I felt his body reacted with the word 'she' and also I, who was so innocent that time, got myself questioned with it and why he answered with only a tough 'NO'

"My bad…" the woman continued, "Yet, she looked really perfect with you. But I guess I ought to be wrong"

My brows twitched but I ignored. The woman and the man on each other's side stared at me and later on looked at Ryoma whom I think was sweating cold.

I held Ryoma's arm tightly and looked away from the critics being blown again, "But anyways, who is this fine lady with you?"

"She's my childhood friend…"

"Ah…" voice changed, "your coach?"

"She does, but for tonight she's here as my guest and as my friend" my grip suddenly loosen from what he had said, and when my knee started to shake, I held them back and stood up with a little flexibility.

"Ah, I see…" the woman answered in return. I noticed the man twitched his body towards the woman. Probably because he noticed her tongue was slipping from a different accent that gives such a meaning.

"But we all hope, that you had brought _her_ along too! Echizen-_san_" the man added as he grabbed the woman's arm and pulled her away, "We need to go for now, there are things that needs to be controlled inside, and we don't want the other guests feel the abandonment!"

"Please sir… Thank you for the entertainment!" I heard him say.

"And it would be nice if we would be there in your engagement" the woman said as the man beside her pulled her heavily away.

In great wonders on our eyes, we were left with our mouths hung on midair. While I, who was starting to solve something confusing, slowly slid my hand away from his arms. For a moment, I didn't know what to do then later on, when he tapped my shoulders I came back to reality. My mind was running nonsense as I repeated the words 'she' 'her' 'no' and lastly 'engagement' inside. For each word they gave me different impacts.

"_Engagement?_" I repeated with the use of my voice. I looked at him but my eyes viewed nothing but a long mile of silence.

"They are the owner of this huge hotel; they are also one of the heads in the Wimbledon Tournament. They facilitate and they also manage them. Both of them are much known to everyone, and they invited me here as their main guest" he said as if he didn't hear what I bothered to say.

"That's not what I'm asking…" I whispered but I know he heard me clearly.

"Let's go inside, it's too cold out here… you might catch a cold" he placed his arms on my shoulder and we continued ourselves back to the hall.

People wouldn't take so much time thinking such nonsense thoughts inside their head. They wouldn't even recall them after a minute. But in some cases, people take the effect too seriously that they had forgot them in a minute then recall them more than an hour. When we were back to the hall, he brought me near a buffet and gave me a slim goblet filled with white wine made out of the finest grapes in France, based from him. Then after we drank a glass, we walked a few steps away from the group of people then he told me the hanging chandeliers above us. The tip of each diamond-shape hanging on every branch was made up of pure crystals. That's why when you looked at them, it glitters so much and it attracts everyone who sees it.

Rather than the wine and the crystals, he also noticed one thing that really caught his attention, "Sakuno, I really do feel that I am honored to be your partner for tonight…" he said

And as quick as those crystals above us sparkled, I flushed myself in flatter and my spirit became alive. "I'm more honored to be your partner, Ryoma…"

Then we both smiled at one another as he secretly grabbed my hand behind us and we both held them tightly.

Surprisingly, the woman who we approached a little while ago, slowly walked towards us and too bad, we needed to let go at once.

"I apologize for such interruptions…" she spoke with a peculiar stare between us, "…but fine lady, if you don't mind, we would like to borrow your partner for just a while…"

My eyes became round in awe, then with a poor tone of voice I answered her, "S-Sure madam…"

The woman turned and walked continuously, not minding to secure if Ryoma was following her.

"I'll be back" he said after he placed his lips few inches away from my ear.

"Go ahead…" I smiled with cheeks turning red.

Then he walked elegantly. His arms were crossed to one another while his body slowly swayed on the calming music of the orchestra near the open arc we passed. Little by little the inches away started to become feet away from me. His voice that had touched me was starting to fade and became a normal wind passing through my ear. Then the best and sweetest smile I maintained for the whole event gradually lowered the both edges as they make a straight face of loneliness and dull smile.

It's amazing how he had entertained me through the whole event. He knew every little thing inside the hotel. The wine, the tips of the chandelier, he knew them cleverly and I didn't had a chance to correct him in such flawlessness. Like in no other classes, I wanted to give him a hundred claps because three claps were not enough to praise him. In five years of our neglect to one another, both of us had changed and in such happenings like this, that's the time we only realize them. It's a pity, isn't it? We used to live in a place where both of us were equal. There was no right because we both admit that we were both wrong. We hid the biggest lie but everyone could see the flaw out of it. Before, we fought with our hands held together but now we fought alone for the other. We want to do something on our own, but we wouldn't dare do it if the other would allow neither one of us.

I managed to look at him still with such a big distance from me. But as water grew behind my eyes, it showed me a vague vision of reality; that in a distance, this was us and the closeness was another lie. It's hard to admit, that even though I had reached him and stood there for him, I was still on a dark corner waiting for him to pass by. Like an endless circle, with both of us placed each on the other side, that's why when we start to walk or run, the distance is visible and the intimacy was ambiguous for us to recognize.

oOo End of Chapter oOo


	7. Frailty

We were never been too late, all love just ends

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

**(A/N):** Okay, so all questions will be answered after a few chapters. And too bad the story will end few chapters from now. I'm at the last rising action and by the next one, it would be the climax itself. It's also a good news because I already have my computer back, so the updates will be more frequently! I just opened my personal site, where it includes all the information of my fan fictions, and this fic is posted there. You can visit my profile to see the link, and I suggest to see and read the fan fic section for more updates and information of 'too late'. I'll stop from here, and hope to receive reviews from everyone! :D Thanks for supporting and liking/loving this fic.

**Chapter Note: **My first to do such things, so bare with me with the details. Haha!

oOo Chapter 7 : **Frailty **oOo

I wandered myself inside my room. With a very thick but comfy jacket I wore, I repeatedly walked from my front door to the wide glass window of my small balcony. And when I made a complete stop before the hazy glass, I let the coldness entered the pores of my hand as I slowly felt the struck of hard rain hitting the poor window. The gloomy dark clouds had won from conquering the wide sky. Although it was still noon, it felt like the streets had lightened their posts as if it was eight in the evening. The hard pour of rain was starting to become risky, that's why it was such a pity to find out that the scheduled game for Wimbledon was cancelled. And as the rain had continued itself from pouring the gloominess over the grounds, little by little the atmosphere inside my room started changing to something unusual. In a minute, I could feel from cold to colder with a mix of dull air passing through me. Then, little by little, I felt my mood starting to change as well, to something that I couldn't picture at all. I've been there standing in front of the window, but I sensed the emptiness of my room.

Even though I hated to do it for myself, my mind suddenly recalled everything from my whole past. And so I realized, it was almost a month since I got myself back to him after waiting for 5 years. It was nice to see him there in the picture with me. But even though both of us were present, our mind and heart were not in the image itself. It was such a pity to realize such thing, but for him, for me and for the both of us, I'm enduring every little pain I had ever since I made my step back beside him.

Who would ever think that we would be ending up to one another until the final part of our lives? It's like a miracle, that in just a simple word of believing, our dreams would collide in one night. A perfect story that you thought would only exist in little kid's fairy tales. But as one of the main characters, I had enthralled within me the whole impact of every step I made during my heroine days. Like those adventures that when you thought you are already winning, but the truth is you are already on your bended knees begging for mercy.

I could feel the first tear for that day to come out again, but I had stored the strength and the self-control I had stabilized for these past few days, and for the first time I had succeeded to use them in a perfect timing. I heard a knock from my door causing myself to look back rapidly. I stared the wooden door and waited for another signal, not trying to speak. I expected to hear another sound but it came out wrong. Something caught my attention from the small space beneath the door. I walked a little closer and realized that it was a white folded paper. I continued myself to get it and as soon as I held the paper and opened it, the phone inside the room suddenly rang, causing me to jump a little higher.

"Hello?" I answered, "Who is this?"

"It's me" and so I knew, "You received my letter?"

"Letter?" I wondered myself, but when I looked back at my hand, I felt stupid, "Ah, r-right!"

"So, I guess I'll see you later then!" though he was not there beside me, I could sense him smiling from his seat. But in such confusions, even a single twitch from my lips was unseen.

"What do you mean?" yet, before I could end myself, my last word hang in the air while he bid his goodbye and hanged-up.

My brows created a mark of puzzlement and due to that; I forcibly placed the phone back to its body. Then I opened the note, _I'll see you tonight at 8 in the restaurant we used to eat_. So that's what he meant, I said to myself. I closed the note and placed it under the phone, and then I left. The coldness was not that painful than what I buried within me. There was neither hatred nor despicable thoughts, but the fact that I was already invisible. To be with him again was what I really wanted and now that I am with him, there's nothing and yet everything was concealed.

"_And now we're back with the infamous Miss Chris Yui!"_ I heard from the television I opened next. I didn't know anything about what the host said in the talk show, so when I felt the spark of ennui inside of me, I stood up and went to the kitchen. I heaved the cabinet above the sink and took a bag of Japanese tea that I managed to purchase in one of the convenient stores down the road. I heaped a few spoons and prepared the tea, the traditional way, and when the feedback of the words from the talk show reached my place, I feel astonished from what I heard from who they call "the famous model, Chris Yui"

"Good morning!"

"It's nice to see you here Miss Chris"

"Yeah, I'm also pleased to be here too!"

"So, since when did you arrive here in Wimbledon?"

"Just a few nights from now"

"Everyone is asking what were you doing these past few months, because news came that you already stopped your career?"

"No, that's not true. Actually, I've been working with my advertisements last week and I know it would be shown soon"

"That's great! We would see the new Chris starting next week"

"Thank you!"

"But, your showbiz career isn't stopping there! There's a buzz we read from the internet, people said that you have a lover who is a tennis player!"

My mind was struck, afterwards I heard this girl giggle before she answered, "YES"

"Wow! So does it mean that the reason why you came here all over from NY is just to witness the game in Wimbledon for him?"

"Not exactly, I've been a fan of tennis ever since I was a teenager, but I never had the skills of learning them. I came here, to watch the whole tournament, and of course him"

"Haha! Chris your lover is lucky to have you!"

"I don't brag about it that much. He's busy with his trainings, so few weeks before he went here, we never saw each other since then"

"Aw, that's a pity. But still, you pushed through just to see him again"

"Yes"

"Everyone in the studio is shouting, they are all asking who he is?!"

In such tension, I ran in front of the screen and held the mug tighter. Of course, I was a tennis fan too, and to know who her lover is is a big intrigue for me.

"Who is this tennis player?"

She giggled, "Ssssh! It's still confidential" she giggled once more, making my brows twitch, "I can't tell his name yet"

"That's a shame"

"I know, but it's for the both of us. Everything might get too complicated if we reveal now. Let's wait… It would be soon"

I turned off the screen and hurriedly placed the mug I took back to the sink. With my heart beating vastly, I opened the cabinet to get my coat and the note from him. For our own benefits

Five hours straight, I didn't go back at the hotel. I coped up to ready some sudden rendezvous, to a salon, to a boutique and of course, to meet up with him for a dinner. There I was standing before a tarpaulin of the model I saw this morning. I stared her rosy cheeks and later on up to her whole being. She's skinny and her hair made a fabulous flow through her slim shoulders. With what she had said, it helped me to conclude the final decision; that is to give the last trust and everything to the man I adore. And losing everything so instant is a heart breaker for the both of us. After all, we were here. It means no matter what the problem and the trial we would face, we can do it together. It's just a _simple_ hiding. Maybe sooner or later we won't need to continue it. Maybe I was just starting to get impatient, that's all. And I just made my final decision to restart everything I lost during these days.

"Miss Ryuzaki?" a waiter approached me, once I arrived inside the restaurant.

"Y-Yes" I answered shaking.

"Ah, we've been waiting for you, over here please" he said as he brought me to a private room inside the restaurant.

The room wasn't that huge for a date. Near the table was a huge glass where you could see the whole city, with vivid and orange lights. In the center was the table with two vacant seats. Top of it, is a center piece of a vase field with white and red roses, beside it is a candle light of two with a bucket of champagne near it. The place was simple yet fantastic. That's why when I first saw it I let my heart fell in such surprise.

"Your date is not yet arriving ma'am, but he said he would be hear in any moment" the waiter added as he handed over a bouquet of calla lilies towards me, "And this is for you"

Eyes widened, I accepted the flowers, "T-Thanks…"

"I'll leave you now ma'am, you can call us whenever you need something" he ended

"Thank you…"

Then I went to my place and there I sat. I never expected such a dinner as this. Heart-warming and intimately special, I melted myself. No one had ever asked me out in such grand preparations. Remembering the suitors I had, no one had ever tried to do the same as this. He was impressive and very splendid. In my last chance, he had gained back everything I almost freed. He gained everything I thought he wouldn't do. He retrieved the trust and the love, that maybe he thought I was already taking away.

The waiter came in. 15 minutes had passed ever since I was there.

"Thanks…" I said after the waiter poured a red wine on my goblet. After that, he left.

I looked at my watch and later on I pulled out my phone out from my bag. No calls, no messages, no anything. _It's raining. Maybe the stormy weather caused a slight traffic along the road. _

45 minutes. Another wine, another look and another thought. _Slight? It's a heavy traffic, I guess…_

"9:00 PM" I murmured. Then the waiter came again.

"Ma'am, do you want us to serve you your dinner?" he asked me

"No, it's okay. I'm fine. I'll wait for my friend" then he left once more and one more time I took out my phone and this time I called.

"_Sorry, but the number you are calling is either unattended or out of coverage area"_

"No signal, perhaps?" I waited.

The clock was ticking. The second was running. Every minute pass, I freak myself out, thinking the positive things I need to enter into my mind just to feel safe and secure. But all optimistic thoughts led me to anything that is negative. My hands were already shaking and the next thing that made everything more burdened was after a loud thunder and a huge flash of lightning stroke, and reflected through the open window near our table.

_Sakuno, don't lose yourself. Don't you dare cry!_ I demanded within me, forcing every tear beside my eyes to return behind them. Then, in my trembling moments, a vibration was felt inside my bag and when I took it, at last, it was him, calling…

"Sakuno?"

"Ryoma, where are you? Are you okay? I—"

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting"

"I-It's okay" It's not bad. We both waited for 5 years, an hour and a half wouldn't hurt.

"I… I am in a middle of a meeting right now… My presence is quite important here…" he explained, and slowly I wanted to absorb every single excuse he had given me again.

"S-Sure…"

"But don't worry, it's almost done! I'm on my way!"

"N-No, take your time… I'll wait…" I said, then hanged up the phone and so was he.

Yes, two hours wouldn't hurt me that much nor even three or five. But something was wrong. And even though I didn't want to think about it, my heart collapsed from where it was. My knee was trembling and when I tried to move my hand, I realized that I was already paralyzed over my seat. It might be the work of the sweet red wine I drank a while ago, since I could feel the heat and the pressure entering in my body. I prayed, yes I prayed, that somehow the lame things and everything around me were all the work of the wine. Little by little, a single word was entering in my head. It's painful and a pity for anyone who would hear it. I was lost. Then, everything was impossible.

The heat vanished, yes it was. Not that long till I felt a continuous flow of water pouring over me. Not that long until I found out that my body was soaked in the rain. That when I looked at a glass along the way, I could neither identify any longer the tears I was shedding nor the tears that the sky shed upon me. Weakening, I was loathing every inch of my life and every inch of what I dreamed of. Impossible. Because when I thought that everything was going to be the same as before, the truth had swallowed me and killed my pride.

You and Me, such a perfect word to hear. But, there was no such thing. How pitiful for us to believe with that something that we thought it existed.

"Sakuno?!" I heard a big slam coming from the other side of my door. I was stunned and in fright I suddenly pulled the blanket together with me. Another slam was heard, "Sakuno! It's me! Open up the door"

I could feel his temper loosing. I could sense his anger increasing. And when I heard another footstep outside my room and a clang of steels being hit to the other, I stretched the blanket and covered my whole body. Seeing his meticulous face for that night was too quick, I haven't recovered every detail I lost this day. I was too scared that I might lose myself in front of him as well.

The door banged over the wall. I heard his voice, clearer and louder: "SAKUNO!"

Two, three, four, five, six steps, he stopped. I held the thick cloth tightly.

"I know your pretending. Get up." He said, sensing that he stood there beside the edge of my bed. "Sakuno, please let me talk to you…"

Yet, I didn't respond. Tighter, I forced myself to get calm, still I failed.

"Sakuno, just let me explain!" his tone was getting higher, "Sakuno!" he was at his limit, I thought.

"I said stop pretending as if you're asleep!" That when I felt him holding my blanket and pulled it away, my body shivered and covered my face with a pillow.

"Sakuno! Why can't we just talk?!" pulling the pillow with force, I held them tighter.

"Just leave me alone!" I demanded and he stopped.

"All I need is a word!" he asked and pulled them again.

_I couldn't stay any longer. I'm sorry._ "And all I need is a single attention?!" I shouted throwing the pillow over him.

Just like the rain, I had shed too much after I noticed my eyes getting all bulky and soaring. And behind my frowning and weeping face, I saw his eyes full of pity. However, I couldn't determine if it was sympathy over my shoes or over his. Because when he touched my cheeks and tried to erase the tears, I pushed it away with force and with anger.

"I have enough, Ryoma…" I cried, "I have enough with all of these…"

"S-Sakuno, I—"

"Another explanation?! Another promise?! Another trust I must give! Ryoma, all of this is going nowhere! I'm tired of it…" I gasped air, "You said you'll do anything, you'll do your best! You said that it won't take long with all of these hidings! But when is soon?! When would all of your promises come true?! I can't wait anymore!"

"A little more patience…" he murmured, but it wasn't enough to make me understand.

"You can think that I am selfish, but I had given all the trust I could give! And by this time I don't have anything left for me to give for you!" I lost over myself.

"I thought you had understood our case! Sakuno, if you only knew how much I sacrificed everything, how much I exerted all of the effort just to make things normal, just to fulfill everything you had dreamed of! I wanted you! I needed you! That's why I'm doing everything! I'm giving all for the sake of you!"

"Everything? Doing everything? What did you do to me back this eve—"

"I did my best just to get out of that nonsense meeting! I wanted to see you! Can't you see?! I'm doing everything, why can't you just believe with everything I say?!"

"Because all of them seem to be rubbish! I can't see anything and I feel like all of them are lies. I can't see everything you do!" I looked away and crawled backwards, away from him.

"Sakuno! Just for one last time, look at me!" he placed his hands above my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I was stopped for a while in surprise, "For one last time, why can't you just see everything through me?!"

"Because I love you so much, that because of this stupid feeling, I can't control myself anymore! I love you so much that when I can't see you nowhere near me, I'm freaking myself out?! I love you so much that when you say all the words you tell me, I always push myself and start to believe with it! And now I'm getting hard of every corner of our world! I'm exhausted with all of these…"

My tears flowed like forever. My head was aching with all the shouting and moaning. I cried everything I could. And when I gasped a breath over the cold air, he pulled me and leaned his lips towards mine with force and sensation. I didn't want anything for the night. I didn't want anything to happen. I pushed him away but he pulled me closer and held me tighter. I wanted to let go but the kiss continued for him. My cheek was turning red and still he continued. My blood rose over my head, then I pushed him this time with ease. He released me.

I gasped another bunch of air and panted myself with my arms placed on his sides. I looked at him and saw his face turning red.

"I'll tell you how much I love you…" he whispered and returned his lips back. We kissed. But not like what we did back in NY, this kiss led us not just by touching our own hearts but deeper. This kiss led us with more love and this time, I could feel what they meant by lust. Our tongues battled, but we didn't mind who will win or lose. We just fought and when we raised our white flags of timeout, we gasped another air but this time together. He held me by the waist and laid me on that comfy bed beneath us.

A wrong time and a wrong moment. But, could you ever stop loving a person who had already painted himself in the picture of your future? I think not. Because even though we felt that it was wrong, still we continued because with what our heart says, it's true. And neither I nor he resisted doing the same to each other. Pleasures may be a cause of either a good or bad future. People say that it's wrong. But some people do it out of love and desire over the one you love.

"Sakuno…" he whispered beside my ear and I could feel his pant and his trembling hands placed on my waist. I covered my eyes in fear. I haven't done it to anyone and I haven't lost my pride and dignity towards someone I didn't love. But I adore, I desire and I love him. This time may be a wrong time but for me I thought that it was the right time. Foolish, aren't I?

I moved my fingers apart to one another and took a peek, and then I found him above me with his face hanged before my eyes. When I saw his lips, I started to trembled and closed my fingers back together again.

"I'm scared!" I murmured and heard his mocking chuckle. "Don't laugh at me!"

The bed moved and I felt his icy hands over my skin, I peeped once more. "Your hands are cold…"

"That's because the temperature is cold…" he took my hand away from my face and placed it at his chest. I flushed away, "And only your warmth can make me feel better"

I couldn't explain the feeling arising inside me. In such, I couldn't understand anything anymore. That in a moment or so, I didn't hear anything and I didn't know what I was doing anymore. That in such emotions mixing inside my head and in my heart, all the words came out in me, was so wrong but it felt right. "Ryoma…" I murmured "I love you…"

He lowered himself and kissed my lips again. Our hands crossed in space and he held them tighter as I held them back with eagerness and care. He placed it right beside my head, as we shared the pleasurable kiss we could give. This moment was different and I could feel its difference than the firsts. He took off my clothes and found ourselves together. I heard his moans and so was the cry I gave all night. Each tear, I felt his caress. Each moan, I heard his words. Each pain, his love swallowed me inside and out.

Love cannot be measured with how much you participate in the relationship nor how much you give and how much you spent for the time and care in your life. Love can be selfish at times, because when you feel like you loved it, you are eager to do everything for your lover, yet when it subsides, you push them out of your door, leaving all the baggage he had inside your room. And when its time to be alone, each lock of the baggage he left will start to open and slowly, it will make you reminisce the best things up to the worst things you do and regret them at the end. Sympathy for the one who was shoved away and empathy for the one who shoved them away. It's always like this, we fight for what we think is right and then later on we change sides and fight for the thing we thought was wrong. We change sides not later than knowing what's the reality on the other.

And by that night, all the words I threw to him, I took them back and kept them inside my darker side. I was wrong, and I insist. The things I never saw, now I watched them stand right before me. With all I have, with all the things I owned alone, now I gave it to somebody who had gathered all the trust, the love, the pleasure, and all I dreamed to give to whom I think is deserving to be my only one. Because after that love we had filled into each other, it had embarked the journey through the door of our future.

**oOo End of Chapter oOo**

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**Kat : **I'm still thinking if I will continue it or not. As of now I'm on the positive side of posting again, but I might change the plot or I might write an alternative story.

**Shierry & LadyKandaYu**: thank you for the support! I'll take your good advices and expect answers for your questions sooner or later on the next chapter! :)


	8. The Real Bride

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

oOo Chapter 8 :: **The real bride **oOo

Still my body was mending from the love. I was still laid on my bed but I could sense myself being awake. Last night was unsuspected yet it was unbelievable. Kisses and hugging, but as a matter of fact, I felt embarrassed for myself. That's why even though it was over; I could still feel my body heating up as my cheeks started to get red. Behind my eyes shut, I can still hear everything, the moans, the groans, and the whispers of three words that every girl wished to hear everyday. And when it struck into my head and remembered his face near mine, I forcefully opened my eyes and as the usual I was surprised.

"Ryoma?" I spoke, seeing nothing but a fixed part of the bed beside me. No signs of him being there or voice of him. Then I stopped, was it real or I was just hallucinating despite of how much I wanted to see him last night? I trembled and covered myself with the blanket which wrapped me from coldness. _How stupid I am to think such things, _I said. It's probably be the worst nightmare I could ever have, but still I knew how the impact of it within me. Too much love I had given, I guess. Yet, could anyone resist of staying beside him now that both of you had written your futures in each others hearts? No, I think not, because girls dreamed to have a 'happily-ever-after' in every commitment they take. They wished to have her lover as the whole him and be loved by her back. Contradictory for me, I love a person yet I wish to stay away from him but I couldn't do it in any kind of way, thus I fail.

I removed the blanket away from my body and opened my eyes with a strong aura. I paid a sigh and went out of the bed. The rain was already vanishing, I just figured out, after I noticed some strike of light entering inside my room. Walking to that light a little closer I felt the heat being absorbed by my whole body and giving me enough energy for the day. Then, as one of my morning habits, I turned on the television and tuned it to sports and news. Drinking a cup of tea and watching the perfect news for me.

"After the cancellation of the tennis matches yesterday, Wimbledon is ready to open once again. Facilitators are already fixing the tennis courts and they already announced that all tennis players who are included in yesterday's list can now continue their delayed game. Semi-finals will start at ten in the morning and players are now gathered in the Wimbledon Tennis Lawn…"

My eyes started to widen as my body overly stopped after I realized that I forgot about the tournament. I placed the cup back to the table. At the same time, a short footage of the players in Wimbledon was captured by the camera, together with their coaches inside the lawn. And it would never be a surprise, after I saw my student on the TV, all alone. "No, I'm so totally late!" I freaked out in a very loud voice and started to fix myself in an instant. Because of too many thoughts and troubles bothering inside my head, I forgot the job I was assigned to do. It's so shameful to see him there on the television without his coach beside him—as if I'm not a very supportive coach if other would notice. "I'm shameful!" I shouted as I took my bag quickly from the small cabinet, and to my surprise, a white note slipped away with it.

I read, _take a rest for the day. You can excuse yourself at the tournament. I'll drop by when the game is over. I love you, Ryoma_. My heart aggressively pumped itself while my cheeks were turning red. "Does it mean it's all true?!" I freaked out once again and tried to cover my face in embarrassment. Last night was neither a dream nor a hallucination. It was true. It was real. But as my eyes passed through a clock, I panicked again, "I must go!" forgetting what the note had said.

The whole dome was again filled with audiences. Flashes from cameras and mixed voices, that sounded like chants, had been present again. Almost everyone was wearing their white shirt and others wore sun glasses due to the intense heat of the sun. I passed by through the hall and still saw a lot of people and other players, who lost their ranks during the previous matches, watching who will be in to the Finals of the Wimbledon Tournament.

Waving to some people who were greeting me as 'Ryoma's tennis coach', still I kept my pace faster to reach the player's room before the game actually starts. And too much recklessness, I suddenly bumped into someone before me and together we fell on the ground.

"Ah!" both of us answered in surprise, "Sorry!" and again we added

"No, it's my fault" the other, who was a girl, insisted. Looking at her deeply while I brushed my pants, I noticed who she was.

"Ah, you are—"

"Ssssh!!!" she shouted as she crawled towards me and covered my mouth with her hand, "Please don't tell!"

I nodded in shock and afterward, she removed her hand. "I'm sorry for bumping you…"

"No, that's okay! I was also careless…" she smiled. For such instances, I didn't expect to meet the famous model I just adored yesterday.

"Me too, I'm in a hurry!" seeing herself bending down getting something on the floor, and saw her holding a common paper as she started to read it.

I tapped my pocket, "Ah, I think that's mine!" I quickly took the paper out of her hands and flushed myself all over.

"Oh…" she reacted, "S-Sorry…" I saw her face shocked, "A-Are you—"

"I really need to go, bye!" leaving and didn't dare to look back.

Frightened. Shaking. Disturbed. I held the paper tightly in my hands and prayed, _please she didn't see it!_ Everything would terribly be confusing and chaotic, if everyone will find out about it. It would lead us to a make or break situation. Too much was already running inside my head and because of it, I didn't notice that I already passed the room. Thankfully, somebody called my name and I stopped and looked. It was Ryoma.

"Why are you here?" he said walking towards me and so was I to him.

"To coach you of course!" I answered, not recalling a thing for that moment

"But I said it would be fine if you won't come"

Then I was stopped and recalled what I forgot the next thing I left my room. "Ah!" I flushed and got embarrassed in front of him. "Ah! Y-You s-see… I-I was…" he, too, felt and did the same way

"N-Never mind, you are here anyway!" he said rubbing his head with a timid face.

"Y-Yeah…" forcing myself to act normally, I changed the topic "By the way, why are you outside? Is it about to start?"

His face changed, that made me puzzled, "N-Yeah…" and so was his voice, "L-Let's go…" he said pulling me as he held exactly my hands.

"Sure…"

Behind him, I thought. Why the sudden changes? At first he was blushing and the next time I looked at him, his expressions changed to the first face I can recall when we first saw each other back then while we were young. Did something happen? Or was there any conflicts happened while I was gone?

"Ryoma…" I murmured as we both secretly slipped our hands away from each other, passing everybody.

"Yes?" he answered with the same voice, making me shiver

"N-Nothing"

And so, we separated our paths at the end of our route. He proceeded to the tennis court while I headed my way to the audience seats. The capacity of people around me was twice the audience during the opening of the tournament. It can't be that impossible since that day was the final day of knowing who will be given the chance to get the crown of the former grand slam player of the Wimbledon Tournament. Everyone was excited and I could see it clearly in their eyes. They were cheering at both sides as the umpire introduced the players of that court. The names being shouted was even, flags of countries were raised and waved to show the complete support of each people watching.

As I passed a seat over a seat, I tried to excuse myself to a lot of people watching, just for me to be near his bench down in the court. And when I reached to a free seat, I immediately placed my bag over my lap and positioned myself on the chair. Though the game hasn't yet started, mixed voices were starting to get louder and inside of me, I was either delighted or bothered. That time would be the last step of attaining his title of grand slam, if he won then he succeeded, if he didn't then maybe it's already enough.

Few minutes had passed, each player were on the center court and were already choosing who goes first and who will choose the courts. And in my deep focus to the match, somebody came and accidentally, tripped herself over my foot as she tried to pass over me.

"Sorry!" she said while I tried to familiarize her voice.

I changed my attention, "Ouch…" I mumbled quietly and stared "It's you!"

"Ah! You're here too!" seeing her cheeks moved upwards as she tried to speak in delight. I couldn't clearly see her eyes for the fact that her glasses covered them.

"Y-Yes, and so are you!" my head moved a little and started to get tense.

She looked beside me, "Is this seat empty? Would you mind if I sit beside you?"

"S-Sure!" Idiocy, "I don't mind…" I punched myself inside.

"Thank goodness!" she smiled, "I've been looking for a seat since I got here…"

"You're lucky!"

"Yes, I know!"

She sat and fixed her position in a good one. Removing her cap out of her head and placed it in her lap, I tried to concentrate more on the game. Not as his lover, but this time as his coach… like what he used to tell me back in NY. Silence came up to us and I was really thanked for it. Within my seat, I prayed that she won't bring up the topic of the letter, in case she read it. Because when she did, I might scream louder than the fans of Ryoma.

"Hey!" she spoke and then my knee started to tremble

"Yes?" _act normally_, I demanded.

"You found a really nice spot here!" she commented, "You can see Echizen exactly here, ne?"

"Ne?" I repeated, "You are—"

"Japanese? Yes, I am" she smiled again, "My father was a citizen of Japan and he met my British mother when he went to America!" she looked at me with awe, "Oh wait! You are also?! What really a coincidence! May I know your name? You see I'm fond of Japanese names, they really attract me!"

"I-I'm Sakuno…" I was hell shaking in my seat and couldn't remove the tense inside of me, "Sakuno Ryuzaki!"

"Woah!" her face was in shock, "I can't believe it, now I met you! You are Echizen's tennis coach!"

"Q-Quite?"

"Quite? Are you silly?" it stroke me, "He's really good in tennis, and to become his tennis coach is my dream!"

"Yeah, but he's good because of his determination of playing"

"I agree with you!" she said, "It's really rare for me to talk to him. Though he's a bit snobbish, don't you think?"

I responded with a light nod, just to let her know that somehow I agree. The tension was rising inside of me. Her words were just like the same as Ryoma. They were uncontrollable and making me feel unease.

The climax of the game was driving everyone crazy on their seats. Each contender of the opposite court were fighting for their own advantages to win their dues. Whenever he gets the first advantage, his opponent takes it back, by winning another advantage. In my seat, I could feel the heat of the game. My forehead was beading and slowly, I removed them with my sweaty palm. They were on the extent of their own rallies. And as a coach and a fan of tennis, it was the best game I had ever watched live.

"Game and Match, won by Echizen Ryoma! 7-6!" everyone screamed in delight.

"Echizen Ryoma had taken his final step to the championship! He wins his game today and next week, another judgment of who will win the next title of the Wimbledon Tournament will be told once again!" a news reporter spoke near to us.

They were all busy with all the waving, clapping, congratulating and screaming stuffs. But me, on the other hand, was happy to know about it as well. However anyone couldn't see perfectly my feelings inside. 'Cause I only showed a simple smile worn on my face and an emotionless movement of my hands.

"Congratulations!" the lady sitting right next to me tapped my shoulder, "Aren't you happy?"

Ironically, I nodded, "Y-Yes, I-I am"

"That's good!" I moved my eyes away from her and looked back to the court. I watched him waving at all the audience around him. And when he looked at our place, I focused on his eyes staring back and smiled eagerly to me. But perfectly, the arising emotions were interfered by my seatmate.

"Whoa!" she cried, "He smiled over here! Did you see? He looked over here and smile at us!"

_No, it's intentionally for me... ONLY_. I thought to myself selfishly.

I gave another nod, and stared back at him. But I was surprised to see his face change so suddenly. It was full of shock, filled with jaw-dropping emotions. The reason was unknown and I wanted to know why fast. I could see everyone moving but my visions were paralyzed over him. I sensed that there was something terribly going on and somehow it excluded me on that happening. My eyes focused to him more. After a minute of stare, I was surprised to realize that he was not looking directly at me, but to Chris Yui.

Another press interview was held again. He held my wrist and dragged me to that interview, even though I resisted a lot of times. Probably because of our training, it made his strength more aggressive and had the power to drag me that way. "It's time for them to know!" he told me and it caught to much of my mind.

We stopped before a huge crowd of camera men, reporters and article writers. Microphones were held before our mouths and a huge spotlight was focused on us. It made me feel more uneasy and my body started to shake in nervousness. I felt his hand placed on my waist and it shocked me in surprise. The first reporter raised his hand and all of them, in sync, looked at him. He asked him, then he answered. After that, another question was thrown at him. First, I was thankful that I was not asked or being the content of any questions that the press questioned. That's why, I kept my mouth shut, listened to the questions that they asked and analyzed and absorbed everything he had to say and explained them thoroughly.

I was waiting for the timing he was telling me a while ago. That this moment was the revelation time. It was sudden, but finally there would be no more restrictions. And finally after what we had last night would be the urge to spill things out.

"Honestly, Ryoma, was there anyone who became an inspiration for you to fight your title in this year's tournament?"

My shoulders, that was being leaned by his arm, could feel the twitched he had expressed over this question. And it felt like the alarm I've been waiting for. I heard his throat moved, swallowing a bunch of liquid exerted from inside of his mouth. Behind my back was my left hand that fitted right through his fingers. I felt his skin that needed encouragement to continue with what he was about to say, as he tightened his hands with mine.

"Yes..." he spoke as I held them back tightly and fixed my hand behind us. In embarrassment and frustration, I looked away from the camera of the press and stared the distance. "I have one special person that inspired me through out the whole game and up to now." He continued, "And she is..."

In distance, still my cheeks flushed and my heat rose through my head. I could hear the heart beat inside my chest and the feedback of his heart inside my ear. My whole body was like in a distant place. But as sooner as I had reached the peek of that distant place, something far from where we stood caught my alarming attention. She was there. The woman who I sat next to during the match. She was wearing a black cap and her bangs covered her identity perfectly even though she had removed her glasses. My sudden movement caught his attention, for sure. Because when I watched Chris Yui being pushed accidentally by a man and fell on the ground, I took a step out of my place and stretched my arms towards her.

"It's Chris Yui! She's here!" the man shouted. Probably, after her cap fell from her head, making her tied hair fall down. Everyone's attention were caught. All of the microphones were held down before us. Camera's pointed at us were changed to its view. "It's Chris Yui! Chris Yui! She's here!

All of them caused a riot. They stood up from their seats and ran towards her. All kinds of press surrounded her and only a few could enter through the whole circle. My eyes were left widened and unstoppably watched the commotion to happen. I didn't had the opportunity to look back but my heart rang for once, when I felt Ryoma's hands slipping away from me. It fell unconsciously beside me, motionless. I had my body jump in a manner that only me could feel.

Standing at the center front of the room, seeing everyone running up to the famous model including the person that used to stand right next to me, who used to be my only lover and who vanished the presence of his hands with mine. I watched them all making that stupid ruckus. Pushing one another. Pulling each other to get a live show. Seeing him running through the crowd, forcibly. Shouting at each press to be able to escape each hindrances. The first time I had seen his face so dedicated with brows meeting one another. As of that moment, I had the big sense coming up inside of me and I stupidly wish that it wasn't true.

I covered my opened mouth with my hands as I continued to watch them. Finally, he stood there beside her, giving his hands towards her to help her stand from falling. The noise slowly faded. And everyone was paying attention to the microphone placed before Chris Yui's lips.

"Is it him?" a reporter said, "Is it he, the person you were talking about at the show you last appeared in, Miss Chris?"

My tears started to be fixed beside my eyes, "Yes!" she gladly said, "Ryoma Echizen, the famous tennis player, is my fiancee and my future husband!"

oOo **End of Chapter **oOo


	9. At the edge of breaking

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

**Author's Note: **Here's my next update. I'm seeing a lot of readers hating Chris—of course! RyoSaku must end happily ever after, right? Yeah, even I hated Chris so much that I wanted to do the same way how Sakuno wanted to kick her out of the story. Yeah, after 2 chapters next to this one, there would be an epilogue already. So meaning at my 3rd update, it would be the ending. By the way, if someone had noticed my notes at my profile there's an alternate story for this one. Just check it out on my profile. :o Here's chapter 9 inspired by the Final Riot single We are Broken by Paramore. That's why the final lines has the song in it! Enjoy!

oOo Chapter 9 **:: At the edge of breaking **oOo

Everything started to repeat inside my head. The unbearable flashes of lights; the noises created by the people that turned out to be a horror of murmurs to me; the questions of reporters thrown at us, specifically to the man who stood very elegant beside me. Yes, too much elegance that all of the people had admired him a lot. And also, because of his too much adoration from people, I had felt the biggest sting inside me that the word 'you and me' was not the best word to describe us. But then, that man who stood there held my hand tightly, as if he didn't want to withdraw my hand from his grip. I too didn't want to let go, that's why I did my best to let his hand cling with mine and let it stay as long as he wanted to. If that can make him happy, then I will never let go. If continuing to love him would still make him happy, then probably I can endure the pain that was dwelling inside me.

_"Yes. Ryoma Echizen, the famous tennis player, is my fiancée and my future husband!"_

This was the first thing I heard, first thing in the morning, exactly when I opened my telly inside my hotel room. That same night I convinced myself that it was just a dream. But how funny it was to see what's real, minute by minute. No matter where I switched the channel, it was the content of all. It made me shivered a lot; made me fell down unto my knees as if I was hit directly on my stomach. The pain was too much. My vision was starting to become odd.

My mind suddenly recalled that exact moment: he slipped his hands away from me and helped Chris, the famous model, from the crowd; seeing all of them making a chaotic approach and his willingness to save her and forgetting the person who he had brought to Wimbledon. After hearing that statement coming from Chris, I was astonishingly stunned over my place and couldn't move a single muscle. But as sooner as I pinched myself lightly, I was turned back to reality and ran out of the room. I ran as long as I wanted to. I didn't care where my feet would bring me. But as soon as the noises from that busy room faded, my feet started to shake on its own. Slowly, I lowered myself down to the floor while I was leaning on the cold wall beside me. My tears were dominant in my face and the moans of crying I had shed that moment echoed in the place, like a hopeless creature in a moment of revelation. Stomach was aching and became stiff. My hands were cupped over my face, covering my nose and my mouth as I continued to cry out in pain.

"Ryuzaki-san?" somebody from the door caught my attention.

"Ah, y-yes!" I answered with a shaking voice. Even though my thighs were still numb, I tried to support them with my bare feet. When I started to walk, my path was going in random steps towards the door. And as much as I could, I wiped the traces of tears in my cheeks before I actually twisted the door knob to open.

"Ryuzaki-san!" it was Mr. Allen.

"Ah, yes?" I asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"Not really, but the heads wants you to receive this. It's a letter coming from them" he took out an envelope and handed it towards me.

"Thanks!" I said.

"Are you okay, Ryuzaki-san?"

"Apparently, yes!" I smiled at him, thinking that he might have noticed some tears left on my cheeks, "W-Why did you ask?"

"You suddenly disappeared last night. A lot were thinking where you went to"

"A-About that, I just-" trying to look away from his eyes, "-just had a stomach ache! Yes, stomach ache it is! I didn't have any breakfast nor lunch yesterday, so I was attacked by my sickness"

"I see" Mr. Allen nodded and took a step back, "Then, I must go already, so that you can take care of yourself!"

I closed the door before me as I watched myself waving at him while he was leaving. Perfectly, I just lied to someone I never thought I would lie to. That's why when my room turned back to its silence; my body shook me to be alive. The paper I was holding stayed in my shaking hands while my eyes were focused anywhere on the room and I looked really sarcastic with my feelings. My lips created a big smirk on my face and my brows were twitching as tears fell down to my chin.

Slowly, I opened the folded paper. From fourths to halves until it was completely open to a whole. Just then, I realized that it was my first time to receive a letter from the head of the company I was working in. Finally my opportunity to know the people who had given me the chance to find my only love one in America will be revealed. And thus, with no more second thoughts and hesitations I read the letter.

The words were scribbled through writing not by print. It had a perfect fit with the smooth texture of the paper. I expected that it would look really presentable. But what made me feel stiffened and my heart pound like it was about to break, was the content. My eyes grew wider and I watched my fingers met as I slowly crumpled the paper in my hands. There was something that needs to be explained and the only person who could explain them thoroughly was him.

My hands were kept together in a fist. The footsteps I made echoed on the corridor out of my room as I walked exactly right next door to see him. My timing was off, obviously. But who could ever endure such pain dwelled inside of you? First was the surprising revelation about Chris and him, just right before me, and now, the confusing content of that letter.

_Why was it from them? How and since when was I being played along with thi_s?

I stood before the wooden door before me, which will evidently lead me to his room. In a sudden jump of fear I had inside, I hesitated. _What will I say? I doubt he would answer my questions. But Ryoma, how could you lie of all people but to me? Were you just playing along with me ever since I came here? Was I only used to be your way of getting an inspiration regardless that I loved you so much? Is it true that you only took advantage of me that night exactly when I'm weak?_

I pounded lightly on the door. _Just one simple answer would be enough_. "Ryoma, it's me Sakuno… There's something I want to ask" I spoke and knocked once more. It took me five times with the knocking but still I received no response at all. My tension raised and got frightened that something had happened inside. Somehow, my feelings were confusing me a lot. For a moment I felt like I wanted to cry. The next minute I felt my heart breaking and I wanted to blame him for it. But then, I always end up stretching my hand before him and take him back to my side. How could any lover blame and hate her love so recklessly, even though everything was so clear?

When I grabbed the knob, I was half stunned to see the door unclosed.

"Ryoma, I'm going to enter" at least I had the privilege to enter. Slowly, I opened the door, making less sounds, so that if ever he was resting then I wouldn't bother his solemn sleep. I took my steps on those red hotel carpets beneath me. With those steps, my mind was driving me insane with so many thoughts. Suddenly, my mind ached and hated the way it subsided so gently. Because of it, I quickly leaned on one of the cream walls beside me and continued to look for him inside his room.

"Ryoma?" I whispered gently—scared that he'll get surprised to see me there.

Then, I heard a loud crash. The trembling feet that my body created vanished so quickly. Fear drenched me up vastly causing me to run and looked out where that loud crash was coming from. But as soon as I stepped on the widest place of his room, my heart stopped.

I saw nothing but a couple just leaning right before each other with the man's hands pressed on the wall before the woman's head—as if he was stopping her. Her hands were perfectly cupped on his pale cheeks as they were sealing their time with a sensual kiss. My world stopped just like how I wanted it to be. It shattered into tiny pieces and I got scared to pick them up with my bare hands.

Another kiss, then I moved a stepped backward. In just a distance, I found them exploring one another. My words were taken out of my mouth and I couldn't speak a single breath before my tongue. Later on, when they removed their lips in contact to one another, I realized that I was watching them with my mouth half closed.

"Ryuzaki-san!" Chris called out my name and still I was stiffened as if my soul was taken away from my body, "Ah, sorry!" seeing her hands withdrew from his cheeks, I lowered my head down a little to escape any expressions I could make. "Were you standing there the whole time?"

I answered with nothing but complete silence. He moved, _finally_, from his place. However, I saw his face—between the corners of my sight—worn nothing but a faceless expression. My heart twitched.

"Ryuzaki-san?" hearing Chris's footsteps closer to my place.

"Ah!" pinching myself to life, I looked at Chris with a fake smile, "No~ I just entered…" ending my sentence with a harsh sigh.

I stared at Ryoma with glaring eyes, hoping that he would carelessly pass through my eyes just for him to see what I was feeling. But what I hoped for was erased in an instant after I saw him lowered down his head and obviously didn't want to look at me. My temper was rising and the pressure was getting through my skin tighter. The heat captivated me, somehow I imagined myself turning purple with so much mixed emotions dwelling inside me. But even though I was getting envious over Chris, I thanked her for bringing me back to my own self.

"Ryuzaki-san!" she shook my shoulders and my eyes were brought to hers, "Are you fine? You look pale!" Chris raised her palm and pressed them on my forehead. I wanted to dodge away from her touch but her reflexes were faster than I had expected. "You're heating up! Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah…" I looked back at Ryoma, "I was planning to have a talk to Ryoma…"

"Is it too private for me to be here?" she pouted before me and I hated myself for giving in.

"No! It's not really private…" I answered back moving my eyes to Chris, "It's just about congratulating him from yesterday's match"

"Oh I see!" she smiled and I felt absurd so much that I wanted to run away from that room, "You really are an excellent coach for my fiancée! You care for him! I'm thankful that while I was away you were perfectly here to take good care of him" feeling a little sarcasm, she moved a step back and started to pass beside me heading to the other door leading to the kitchen.

"Ah… yeah" looking at Ryoma, yet again, whose face was covered with his dark hair and his hands unmoved in a fist

"Why don't you join us in breakfast, right dear?" her voice echoed in the other room.

Finally we were alone. My face became stern with my eyes focused on him, still unmoving. I was perfectly waiting for him to drag me out of the room. Hence, my feet were firmly steady on the ground with my toes rumbling to each other beneath my closed slippers. My throat slowly opened as I swallowed liquid from the entrance of my mouth. A little more minute, I waited for him to move, but as Chris repeated her call of 'dear' in a questioning intonation, he twitched and spoke.

"Sure…" with a very chilly tone that stunned me in fright. Finally he moved his feet, walking towards me still with his head lowered. I released my hands from a very tight grip to itself, waiting for his moment to grab my hand and pull me out. But as soon as he was already a few steps before me my eyes perfectly widened in surprise to see him make a complete turn from my motionless body. I shivered.

_Why?_ I was completely ignored and forgotten. Tears were starting to settle beside my eyes.

"I'll be out for a while. I forgot something at the lobby" he said making me all in pain.

Now the continuation of my heart breaking moment continued. What was I thinking, going right through his unlocked door of his room and barge in, seeing him and his **fiancée** making out? Well, if it wasn't because of the crash that I heard I wouldn't have run too much and see them live. But then, is it really me who's in fault, going inside his room without any permission from him? Is it really me who needs to experience the walkout by someone I adored without telling me any excuses or explanations? Anyone would feel so much in pain if they were in the same shoes as mine. Why? Definitely, someone needs to tell me why. And only the person who kept on running away must answer my question. But who was I fooling? Probably, everything was a big damn joke from the start.

Besides five years had passed. Ever since we saw each other back at New York I never asked what happened during those years of no communication. What happened to his life? What happened to his college life during his stay in America? Was there anyone who stole my position from his heart? Well, if there would be, then one thing's for sure: that would be Chris.

"Ryuzaki-san, sorry for the trouble" after a few minutes of standing inside the room, Chris dragged me down to a seat and approached me back again with a cup of coffee in her hands. I gave her a smile as a respond of thanks and stirred the whole mug with a silver teaspoon. "I just wanted to give you a thanksgiving as a behalf for Ryoma"

"There's no trouble!" I answered back after sipping a small amount of coffee from the porcelain mug.

"That's good!" she smiled once again. Her smile was perfect making me feel uneasy to stare at her wearing it. _Probably, this is her best asset… that Ryoma fell in love for._ I created a frown within my lips, but thank God it was completely covered by the mug I was holding. "You know, I'm really amazed with how we met. I never thought that you were my fiancée's coach!"

"Y-Yeah…" I started to become ill at ease, "I also never thought that you were his fiancée… Sorry about last night… I didn't had a chance to say goodbye, I got a tummy ache"

"That's okay, I know how you feel when you feel like nature calls you during camera views" looking at me with suspicious eyes "It feels like we resemble each other, ne?" another smile and I wanted to kick her off from her seat. I felt too much self-pity and everyone could see how much I hated it. If we were alike, then it would cause me too much problem. But then, if ever, could it be the resemblance of us was the reason why all of this happened?

"For someone like, Ryoma—"

"Yeah, speaking off him" she stood up from her chair and walked back inside the kitchen, "He's taking too long at the lobby; I wonder what's taking him for so long?"

In a sudden reaction, I just thought something awkward that came inside my head. "Why?" I took another sip from my mug, but recklessly I burned my tongue. "He didn't sleep here last night?" my heart ached again.

"Well, actually no." I heard her chuckle from the kitchen and at the same time there was a thump somewhere inside the room. "The press took so much of the time last night that we couldn't go back here in the hotel. That's why we passed over another near the venue. Remembering that night makes me want to blush! Probably, he was not satisfied last night."

Another word coming from her, I already felt like I was about to disintegrate and disappear in that gloomy room. My eyes were completely blank and my mind was totally disturbed. Heart was pumping thrice times than my usual heart beat. It frightened me that with the quick pace that it made, it wouldn't be a surprise if I would get an attack in such a moment. Suddenly, I heard a breath near my place.

"That's why, Ryuzaki-san, sorry if you came in seeing us like that…" her voice was coming closer. She appeared before the table holding a tray of biscuits in her hands. "Ah, Ryoma! What took you so long? Your coach and I are waiting for you the whole time."

"I got stuck in the elevator" Liar.

"Stupid of you!" Chris walked closer to where I sat and placed the tray on the desk, "Ryuzaki-san, please have some"

"Sorry Chris…" I spoke holding a big amount of breath, "I forgot that I am heading somewhere else" staring Ryoma with a complete staid puzzlement on my face.

"That's bad" seeing in the corner of my eyes, I saw her frowned.

I stood up from my seat, "But really, thanks for the coffee and the biscuits. I'll go ahead" started walking and in a faster pace. Within myself, I knew I couldn't hold back any longer. The more their presence was completely intact, the more I'll break before their eyes. So as I took the moment as my opportunity to run away, I gave my final notice of pain by stopping before him with our eyes met. His eyes where I could see a perfect glimpse of fear, confusion and surprise.

"Before you go, Ryuzaki-san" she was the reason for me to stop.

"You can call me Sakuno, Chris" looking more deeply in his eyes, "That's how I want to repay your kindness"

"Then, Sakuno" her voice became sweeter, "Before the championship of the tournament arrives, would you like to go with us? In my house down town? If you don't mind, though"

"No, Chris" my senses could feel my face turn into something I don't know, "I don't mind going" and whatever I said, I was having no idea what it meant for all of us.

"This is really great!" her happiness showered her, but darkness was bestowed upon me. There was no such thing as our comparison. "Then, we'll see you the day after tomorrow!" It just happens that I was left behind and she came along, to replace my forbidden place in his heart.

"Thank you Chris" I smiled before his eyes and I saw them growing wider, "I'll see you then…"

No one could ever think how much I had drowned myself in obscurity. I took my steps out of their door without giving a single word for him. If clichés were meant to be true, then my actions were clearly enough for him to read what I was feeling inside. A part of me that neglected a lot of his explanations captivated me even more. During that invisible contact of his thoughts to mine, I had spoken what I have in mind.

I stood there as if I was the best heroine that anyone could know. My chest apart from the ache, I showed it to them. My heart as cold and empty as possible, I tried to let them feel it. Even just for a single moment, I had made myself as a picture of a brave woman with her heart cut open yet still standing in painless—like any broken people had dreamed off.

But not later, after I had completely shut my door back inside my room, I already felt my edge. What I hated the most was to feel the silence gathering all around me. Because when I finally absorbed that silence within my body, my feet starts to weak, my knees starts to lose its strong pillars and my whole complexion starts to fade. Tears start to appear before my eyes and no matter how much I tried to keep them aback, it would still continue to make its freedom away from my closed eyes. I guess I couldn't make it—to be a strong heroine. The moment I felt my final moment of breaking, I found myself leaning behind my door with my arms hugging my weak bones. Just for a moment I wanted to feel like I'm home and feel like every people below me would tower me with their arms wide open towards me, having their own freedom to praise my braveness, rather than seeing myself at the complete edge of my life of breaking.

**oOo End of Chapter oOo**


	10. Out of Reach

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**(A/N): **For sure, it's a very long update! xD And lastly, all of it are writer's imaginations... none of them were made through experience! xD

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

oOo Chapter 10** :: Out of Reach **oOo

When I opened my soul, all I saw was completely darkness. I felt as if my body was totally numb from all the pain and I liked it that way. However, I heard a calming music somewhere right where I was lying. The comfy chair—if I am not mistaken—made me feel more relaxed and wanted to lie down more to ease my troubles. Suddenly, a loud bounce reacted on my bottom that caused my eyes to open up—hating that moment to vanish so quickly. Then I realized that I fell asleep.

The sun was striking at the window before me and my eyes were half shut in its intense. Raising my hand before my eyelids, I had successfully covered myself with the brightness it caused. Out of the window, I saw a huge rice field that was so tranquil in its beauty. In some parts of that field were large trunks of trees with green shiny leaves reflecting from the sun's light. However it didn't take long when my attention was caught by my trembling hands followed by my knees up to my body.

Obviously, I was nervous. Due to the overwhelming surprises during my past days, I had spoken words that I never thought I would say. I had acted a manner that absolutely contradicted the real me. These things were too much for me to bear and because of it; I caught myself over a serious momentum. I found myself, sitting at the back seat of one of the luxurious cars that my _tennis student_ owned, together with him at the driver's seat and his _fiancee _right beside him. I stared the whole car and passed my eyes over the rear mirrors at front, seeing only half of his eyes focused on the rocky road and his forehead filled with beads of sweat.

"Ah, you're awake, Sakuno-chan!" I moved my eyes away from the mirror when exactly his cold dark green eyes looked through them.

"Where are we?" asking with a very shattered voice.

"It seems like you really had a very nice sleep forgetting where we are going" the woman who was sitting in front, the famous model and his _fiancee_, smiled at me, "We're going to our house, remember?"

_Shoot!_ I reacted and my head ached terribly after knowing that. "Ah y-yeah… I completely forgot"

"Don't worry we're finally here!" she gave another smile to me as she stared at me with pleasing eyes.

I tried to smile back with those unmoving lips, hoping that she saw it right through my emotionless face. Hesitating to take a small peek from the rear view mirror of his car, I noticed him still looking at me with sad eyes. _Sad? _His own sympathies wouldn't work for me, as of the moment.

It had been 2 days since the last time I felt his presence beside me. Ever since that revelation was spilled out, neither talks nor innocent hellos were exchanged. This was the real breaking moment but still we acted as if it was nothing for us. Or, probably, did we really care for this intimacy we treasured for 5 years?

After that question entered my head, my eyes, then, started to blur because of the wet tears appearing before them. I didn't want anymore dramas to interfere my day 'cause surely I'm tired of it. That's why I opened my mouth and gave out a yawn to hide my tears, but I doubt he didn't notice it.

Chris chuckled, "Look Sakuno! We really are here!" followed by a loud smile before her lips as she stretched her hand, pointing her finger to a huge lavish villa right in front of us.

My eyes grew wider as I stared the perfect structure of the house that I'm sure I had never seen before. For that moment it came to my head that it was just like how my dream house would look like. Like a vacation house that was filled with a huge garden before the entrance door. A high staircase coming from an elevated path made out of crystal cement tiles. And there was a simple yet extravagant silent fall beyond a bed of bamboo shoots, crawling down from clear pebbles, reaching a huge pond filled with lilies and koi fishes. All over it looked like it was an antique house from the old ages but in some views it resembled a Japanese tradition.

I took my first step out of the car as soon as it stopped right before the shining staircase. When I felt my heels touched on the floor, my body moved erratically and I cried in fear of falling down. But surely not long before the air wrapped around my back, a strong up-built body covered me up from behind. The sting of innocence and clumsiness made my embarrassment go wild, that in any further of looking back to the person who captured me I doubt that I will not melt in shame. But that feeling struck me so tender, making me realize that I was longing for something warm at the moment.

"Sakuno-chan! Are you okay?" Chris appeared and stood before my body to stretch out and help me to stand up. "I think you got dizzy during the trip~"

"Sorry, I probably had a hang-over during my sleep" yes, perfectly I blushed. But it didn't take long till I took my step backward, "Thank you…" I said at him and turned away.

"Glad you're alright" he spoke and it lingered in my skin. I wanted to look back at him again, took out his hands and let it wrap around my waist. But all I ever did was to move naively at my position as I took my baggage inside the car.

My actions were filled with flaws, I'm sure of it. Because when I tried looking at Chris and pretended that I was just feeling the best, I could sense her eyes seeing right pass through me, seeking all the negative feelings I have been keeping inside myself. Causing trouble and problems in this vacation was not included in my agenda. That's why to make things go through the right flow, I spoke and focused on a subject, that I'm sure it won't break us one by one.

"Nice place!"

"Really?" I saw her face instantly changed, "I designed it!"

"I feel like I'm perfectly at home"

"Glad that you also see it that way!"

"Chris, why don't you give her a tour…" Ryoma spoke from behind the car that gave me too much alarm, "You want that, don't you?"

_Finally!_ Our eyes had met. I stared at it and it was empty. It made me feel broken. "Y-Yeah, I really want to" _I was wrong in bringing up the subject._

Chris walked quickly right next to me and grabbed my arms as she started to drag me together with her, "I'm so excited! Come on, I'll show you around my house!"

I didn't have a chance to resist due to her too much prattles. I neither had a chance to look back and say even just a simple thank you to him. Probably, I was becoming like a stupid old sheep that couldn't care less about what it wanted.

Still with her arms all around me, we walked through the stairs and there came two men in black suits who were heading to Ryoma's place. As both of them passed us, Chris whispered to my ear, "They're like male maids. If you want anything or have someone to help you, you can always call them!" Then my brows twitched and gave a quick nod.

After a few steps, we finally entered the house. It was like a traditional Japanese inn—however much more like modernized from the real thing it looked. There was a first step elevated widely before us. In the right side where we stood was a small cubbyhole for you to leave your shoes. Before the elevated floor was a wide brown mat. She tapped me and gave me a sign of another smile. It gave me the idea of the same thing like we do in Japan. There was a chuckle that echoed and surely it was caused by her.

"Since I'm having hectic schedules due to some meetings and personal activities, I didn't have any chance to visit my father's home. The last time I remembered going to Japan was during my teenage years, 5 years or so? And I was really amazed after seeing the old inns in Kyoto and the famous temples there. That's why I started to dream a house like one."

"That's flattering for me as Japanese" I commented.

"I know and I really envy you. If you'll look at me directly, you won't see any touches of a Japanese woman inside me. I barely looked like one of you! People would sometimes feel so shock to think that I'm having very uncommon bloodlines. So right after that realization, I really focused myself to achieve my dream"

She explained me the whole thing as we passed few young women in simple designed_ yukata_—and if I'm not mistaken they were the housekeepers. In one pinch, I was dreaming that I was already in my homeland but followed by another one, I was brought back to reality.

The whole house of hers was bigger in the inside, not noticing how it looked on the outside. Each corner of every hallway we had was having a huge pot of implanted bamboo shoots. She brought me in to 5 rooms which can be opened through a light wooden sliding door. These were the _dining room_—there was a long table of _kotatsu_ and around it were 8 comfy pillows. A small bonsai was the centerpiece, each on the both near ends of the table—the _entertainment room_—with a normal look of a television on the center and two two-seated chairs with a small center table before each other—the _small library, _the _kitchen _and lastly was a room divided into two which will both lead you in a separate _onsen_—hot springs.

Later on, she grabbed my hand again and pulled me this time on the second floor. There she let me took a peek on 3 different rooms. The first one was hers—filled with lots of portraits of her and cupboards probably filled with her styled dresses. The next one was a huge bedroom of her parents—nothing so special except for the British style of room having its walls with carvings that symbolizes nobility. Lastly was Ryoma's room. But in any chances, I declined to see it. Not because it was his room but perhaps it was my body which couldn't endure the weariness anymore. Thus, she accompanied me to my room. But as we were about to arrive at the door itself, her mobile phone rang and it didn't take long when she excused herself and pointed me the door.

Finally my moment of being alone and having the time for me to rest already came. But when I grabbed the knob and opened up the door, I saw him inside.

"Ah, you're here…" he spoke while he was placing my luggage on the floor beside the bed, "I'll just leave your things right here"

I walked in, "Thanks"

His body suddenly froze, I could see it. "W-Where is she?" he looked at me, this time it's me who froze, "I mean Chris"

"S-She went down; she had a phone call…"

"I see…" we both looked away in both rhythms. I could imagine myself melting down because of the intensive pressure inside the room. But I held my melting body all together. Cause as of that moment it would be my last resort to spill things out. Yet, if he wasn't willing to answer anything from me, then it just proves that everything is impossible to continue anymore. It's just like how you reject something you want right after you have been satisfied.

"Ryoma…" I made a doubt to look back at him. Probably because it might hurt to see him walk out of the door. But if I let that feeling to dwell up inside me, then becoming like a bitter creature is not that hard to achieve. "Do you still love me?"

There was no response. I couldn't hear his body reacting from my question. I waited for a few seconds to listen, but neither a gasp nor a sigh was heard. My tension increased, concealing my true feelings. "What am I talking about? Of course you don't, right?" finally I made my turn and look up at him. "Yet, why didn't you tell me anything?! Was everything just a lie? A prank? Or probably just your own game! 'Cause if it is, then Ryoma please stop it already!"

"Sakuno…" it made me stop. My eyes were starting to be filled by tears but I did my best to pull them back, because crying would be just a waste; it won't pay all the pains I had felt. "Please understand…"

"Understand what?" my body was breaking free, "How can I understand everything when you're not telling a single thing about it!"

"Everything…" he spoke, "Everything is for you… I'm doing my best for you..."

_For me? _I stopped in confusion, "If it's for me, then why should I feel hurt and be broken by you?"

"Sakuno, just understand!" with the tone he was making, I could already predict that he too was losing his self. This time, he made his turn and looked straight into my eye. I saw them shaking and for unknown reason I was starting to imagine his eyes filled with tears. Tears that he barely shed in front of people. "All of it! I'm doing my best to fix these things!"

"What things? You're fixing what?" my head was aching in total puzzlement, "Why can't you tell me anything! Didn't I tell you, I'm tired of all the hiding!" my hands moved towards his arms and grabbed them really tightly. With all my force, I brought it up to my bare hands and pushed it towards his skin. Within that force was my mixture of hatred, pain, despair and confusion. "Why can't you just tell them that you already have me? I thought I was about to be your bride! But who is she?! Who is that girl in your life?! Why did she come to **our** world! Why is Uncle Nanjirou and Aunt Rinko included in this game!"

My tongue slipped. Pulling my tears back from my eyes, I left my mouth hanging in the air filled with shock. Maybe I was getting to desperate over him. Maybe I was having the wrong timing about asking questions. Maybe I was becoming incorrect with my actions. Because after that split of a second that passed right through us, my shouting was followed by complete silence. With my vision focused on his eyes, there was nothing but the same emotions I was feeling that day.

Slowly, I shut my mouth in half and looked away, together with my hands withdrawing from the very tight grip. I moved my feet one or probably two steps backwards, not knowing the exact. But as sooner as I wanted to count those steps, I already noticed that I was already few inches away from him. Raising my hand, my mouth half shut, my fingertips shaking and my soul melting. I couldn't help myself but to stare the empty floor and cry in burden.

"S-Sakuno—" he said, seeing from the corner of my eyes, stretching his hand towards me, as if he wanted to feel me through his bitter lips for that sake.

"STOP!" I screamed with shaking voice and exactly, he did stop. "Just let me rest…" murmuring, "Please let me rest…" I'm over with it.

Turning my back from him, I heard his footsteps fading away right after a humble bang of the door. That climax was way too unexpected for the both of us. 'Cause after all the shouting; I couldn't stop my whole body from shaking that it led my knees to be weakened and fall before the cold floor. I heard loud knocks coming from the other side of the door, but I couldn't comprehend my mind from that intense moment. I just completely ignored the calls.

A few more minutes or so, I found myself lying on the bed with the lights turned off. However there was a short vivid lightning that could only be noticed through a small opening from the incomplete shut of the door. Then there I thought that maybe I passed out from what had happened earlier and somebody might took a peek and found me unconscious on the floor. Yet, I still ignored that thing. _I just forgot something and can't perfectly remember what... yet something tells me that knowing what it was is a bad idea…_ I said to myself.

Bringing myself up from the bed, I sat comfortably with my hands sustained to my head. Somehow there were spark of dizziness, but after a few seconds it vanishes and right after another two it will come back again. Nevertheless, I managed to fight that feeling after a few minutes of waving my body back and forth and to stand on my own with my no-more-shaking-feet.

The silhouette of the bright moon gave enough light for me to see everything inside. I walked towards the open window and started to stare the moon. Wind blew my hair softly and I like how it brushed my skin even though it was too cold. Despite of it's coldness, it still chose to embrace me, just like how I wanted to be. If coldness is a hindrance then let it be... cause we can always make it warm at any time we want.

"_What are you talking about?!_" A loud voice echoed inside my room. It caught my attention and thought that it was a man's voice. I never wanted to shake myself under people's noses but my body moved on its own. I opened the door and followed the voice from where it came from.

"_Why not? After the tournament would be great!"_ this time I realized that there were two people talking. And if I'm not mistaken the man's voice was Ryoma's and the woman's voice was from her.

"_But how about me?! You never asked my side from the start!"_ My tension and curiosity were dwelling inside my heart again. I continued to search where they were.

"_I asked you ever since and you said it's my choice!"_ her tone was raising.

"_Since when the hell I said that!" _their voices were getting louder and there were two things I was completely aware of. I'm getting closer and they are fighting.

"That exact night after the press talk! That night when you and I are--Sakuno?"

I was shocked and didn't realize that I already passed the wall covering me, "Ah! Sorry! I was not really--"

"Were you just listening?" he snatched my words and glared at me with frightening eyes.

My mouth closed fast and looked him deeply, "I told you I don't!"

"Then please go back to your room"

"C'mon Ryoma, don't shower him all your madness!"

"I'm not mad!"

"Then why with such face?"

"I told you I don't! Just tell them to stop this instantly!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Why are you completely shouting at me?!"

"Because all of you are driving me crazy! You decide things without any concerns! And you brought Sakuno here just to disturb all of our lives!"

I reacted, "well sorry for being a disturbance!" I butted in.

"Please Sakuno, you're not!"

"I'm sorry if all I ever did was to disturb both of your lives! I never meant to intrude. I was not completely eavesdropping either" my blood raised and I could hear my heart pumping fast, "I'm sorry if I'm a big hindrance!" the moment I opened my mouth next, my tears started to appear again, "All I wanted was just to help! My mistake... going all over New York just to see you Ryoma... Everything is just a complete mistake ever since!" I covered my mouth and couldn't hold the crying anymore. I wanted to speak further but my words were replaced by my whimpering. And when I see both of their faces in great shock, I felt complete embarrassment and turned around, "Excuse me..." then I started to run.

"Sakuno!" Chris tried to call me, but I didn't dare to look back and stop. I just continued to run just like I always do. Running away from what's happening and never had the courage to stop and face what was currently happening. Yes, running is my daily routine. And never in my life I had the courage to speak.

A few hours right after that commotion we had, I found myself standing on the open garden in the villa. It was completely quiet and the wind just continued from where we had left the last time. I was wearing neither jacket nor sleeves so there was really nothing to keep me warm. Yet, I still surrendered myself to the breeze. I wanted to feel colder than before. I wanted to know how it feels like to be so much numb due to the coldness. And when that happens, I will no longer suffer from the love that will always keep me warm. Just plainly free from all the hardships and trials even though my payment is becoming so dull and inhuman.

I started to walk from where I stood. Passing through the wide pond, the breeze was starting to get stronger. There were huge pebbles across my path. I stared at it a few times and wondered where it would lead me if I'll follow it. So indeed, I took my step over the aligned stones and followed them at the end. At the very end, I was amazed with what I saw.

All away from that huge house of Chris, a sea exists few meters behind it. The shore was completely clean and there were a lot of shells. For another round, the wind gave another blow but this time it contained more force and coldness and with that, I saw someone sitting along the seaside. It was Ryoma.

My heart beat stronger once again and I felt irritated when suddenly a thought came to my mind - "a common drama scene!". In my fright I shook my whole body and turned my back and decided to go back to my room. However, he stopped me.

"Lovely isn't it?" he spoke, " The sea, I mean" moving his head and looked at me with such gentle eyes.

Like a stupid woman, I pick up all my composure and gathered all of them before my chest. Then suddenly, I felt my body relaxed and calmed. "Y-Yeah"

He suddenly chuckled. "What's funny?!"

"Nothing! I thought you won't answer me. Then just turn and ran away from me again, like how a common drama scene does"

My heart felt glee and it gave me the creeps, "So you thought it too..." He was like somebody else. I watched him from afar and stared at him deeply. Then my mind started to wonder, how can I ever escape my own desires of loving a man?

"You mind sitting right next to me?"

How can I ever bring myself to resist my own temptations? "No..." Looking away, the sand sank to my soles and tickled my whole feet as I walked towards him. When I finally reached his place, I wanted to hesitate first but my body moved on its own and started to stretch my bottom and sit right next to him before the sea.

All we could hear was the waves splashing to the sea bed and later on washed away repeatedly. I stared the moon's reflection from the wide sea and in exchange the wind breezes again to us. Ever since I sat there with him, neither of us spoke. Probably because of the tension? Or simply because a lot of things happened during these past few days and we were there right next to each other as if nothing bad really happened.

But for me I never forgot the whole pain, that moment just approached me so fast and I didn't have a chance to resist my own self. I wanted to start the words I held back from before, but my lips didn't follow. I tried to move my hands that were already covered by the white sand but I think my nerves failed to connect me to it. All I could ever do was to listen and hear everything around me. Wait and see what will happen that night. If a promise would sooner break and torn us apart.

"I'm sorry..." he said, "I didn't mean to shout at you a while ago... I was completely pressured..." this time I wanted to respond, but my body played deaf, so I just completely gave all the moments to him. "I don't know what to do actually... I am completely at my edge back then, and I threw all my anger at you. So yeah... sorry"

All were just apologies and explanations, but all of the things he said... none of them contained what I really need. I just want to slap him on his face really hard that he will never forget the pain. I want to hit him so hard so he would be completely aware how much suffering I was bearing behind my back. Shout at him so loud, not minding if all the people woke up, just to let him hear how many times I cried, I ran away, I dwell stupid things inside me, how many tears I wasted, how my composure got ruined, how he destroyed my heart and all of me. Tell him how many times I wanted to jump over him and kill him from all he had done and how many times I had the urge to do all of these to him... I want to shout at him how much I cried over such things that really hurt me badly just because I stupidly love him. And just like my self expectations... I failed from what I want to do and just end up wasting my tears again.

Crying... Crying... Crying. Nonstop tears to shed ever since I met him. I can no longer count how many times I cried. The only thing I know it's already too much and it's making my whole spirit go insane. "You... don't know... how much... I suffer.... do you?"

I can't look at him anymore. "I'm sorry" that's all he said. I moved my feet and leaned on my knees. I hid my face for him to see and covered my mouth so that he won't hear my whimpers.

"All I ever did is to make you cry, am I right?"

"Don't throw questions back at me without even answering mine!"

"I'm sorry~"

"Can't you say any words rather than 'I'm sorry?'" Without knowing, I looked at him and let him see my awful tearful face. My cheeks started to get red and tried to hide it again with my hands. But he stopped me again. He quickly raised his hand and held mine. His eyes stared me with gentleness and he spoke with his lips...

"I love you"

Freely, my face distorted from what he answered and cried even more. I can no longer hide myself to him. I revealed myself and finally, I had my chance to speak for myself...

"Damn it! You really don't know how much I suffer! You don't know how many times I cried just because of everything! I almost got insane from what's happening. You never told me anything. Explanations any word, you didn't give any of them! I suffered more than you could ever think! I don't even know if what you're telling me is real or just another lie! I always believed you and you always break your promise at the very end! And now you turn me all upside down just because I stupid love you!" I continued to whimper and cried unstoppably. My heart was beating in a weak rhythm already. The blood was flowing in a rush and my whole body started to heat up. I can no longer stop myself. "I still love you even though it's killing me already~"

He sealed me with his lips and all I could ever do was to give in. Probably he could taste my salty tears but I'm sure he won't mind, it was his fault anyway. Our desires were all transparent and we can't hide it anymore. We fought for a lot of things and failed from winning at first. That night probably be the best and worst part of my life. At the very edge of my own breaking, I still continued to love a person who was the reason of it all. And despite of that fact, I merely let myself be taken by him and raise my white flag in any moment.

I could hear the bed creaking and I'm sure he was clearly aware of it. I was completely exposed and he took all of me. The sadness inside my body, he managed to remove them by just sealing a sweet kiss within my lips. All night I closed my eyes. All night I heard my whimpers and moans. At the sea, that was the only time I heard him speak, and I was disappointed to hear nothing afterward. Every single of me he took them with pleasure. I can't tell if I was happy or felt bad at that time. My mind lost its control and my body just moved on its own. Every time he gave me those kisses I just open up and let him do everything. He leaned on my body and I could absorb every warmth he releases. A night of pain and suffering. I don't know how I can tell things anymore. Everything about me, he controlled it flawlessly and by just that, I don't know who we are anymore. Like I can no longer reach him and just thought that this night... the very last night can also mean the highest peak of our lives, the beginning of a new trial or just simply the last night and tomorrow when the sun rises will be the end.

And just like how a common drama scene happens, a couple will meet in the seashore; the man kisses his woman and ends up all night making love. The next morning right before the sun shines to the highest and all the people will wake up, the woman takes her step out of his man's room and secretly go back to her own, wishing that she won't get caught. But just like I said, a common drama scene will never be drammatic if you won't get caught by the third party.

"Sakuno, where were you just then?"

**oOo End of Chapter oOo**


	11. Relationship Suicide

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**(A/N): **I read all the chapters from the start... and I was elaborately speaking at the author's note... and suddenly nothing came up at the 8th Chapter... and I was no longer talkative. Hahaha! I noticed a lot of corrections through reading too... so maybe after the ending, I'll proof-read and edit the chapters again! ^^ I placed a very short summary of what happened during the previous chapter incase others had forgotten the story... and it's a looong chapteeeeer!!! It's 15 pages?! xD The last one before the epilogue of course!... I'll say goodbye soon and it's sad :( Thank you for all who posted the reviews... I was half-laughing and smiling while reading them again! ^^

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

oOoChapter 11** :: Relationship Suicide **oOo

Tension was rising through my head. My heart beat faster than the usual and I felt like as if my body was suffering from a complete paralization.

"Sakuno, where were you just then?" her eyes focused on mine as if she was waiting for me to look away and give her the idea of something suspicious. As much as possible, I wanted to collect all my scattered composures and stand up and answer her with a flawless one. But as I tried to open my mouth, the voice had an after effect of fading that caused me to stop.

"I... I was--"

"Chris" somebody appeared behind my back, at the time where I was hopeless. Ryoma came and butted in through the never ending silence like how a hero saves his damsel-in-distress in the edge of dying. "I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?"

"Ryoma" her glares that were thrown at me swiftly vanished as she swang her head towards him. "Do you want me to prepare already?" I watched her deeply. From the look she gave at me and from how she changed her mood in an instant flash, I didn't know which one was the real Chris. I had a bad notion inside yet I still let the feeling suppress me.

I felt distrait. Suddenly I felt a stinging stare behind my back that gave me an alarm to be awake. The chance to take my leave and get out of the love triangle scene popped inside my head and I decided to interrupt their sweet talk, "I'm going back to my room..." taking my next step and continued to leave. But before I could make a complete turn towards my room her voice caressed my ears and forced me to stop.

"We'll see you downstairs! My mother will be happy to see you, so please join us in breakfast" she said.

"I will" passively I answered.

Opening the door to my room, my knees started to shake intensely that caused me to breakdown on the floor. I started to lean on the door after it closed and my body ached thoroughly within. Last night was a nightmare that later turned to a dream. It felt like my dying days were almost near and near enough to end the life I protected and cared. Hopeless, I still didn't understand what was going on around me. It's like a heartbreak. It was as if my life was playing around my head and it jumped over a cliff to let my feelings fly through nowhere.

I heaved a sigh. _What else should I know? _I thought to myself. A month ago I bid goodbye to my old friends and flew to America just to find the man of my dreams. I met him ironically and I was moved to know that I'll be his professional tennis coach. Days later he told me to go to Wimbledon after I found out that he was joining the tournament just when I saw him again. Thus, I flew to Europe with him and, just like how I wanted it to be, my 5 years of waiting for his love filled my following weeks as I went through tennis practices with him and exclusive moments that only both of us knew. But it didn't take long when I found out that the man I loved forever had a fiancee and was about to get married after the Wimbledon Tournament... which was 3 days ahead. I'm suffering the latest days of my life just to know why and how did these things turn out to cruel ones. How did fate broke the magic of two lovers who promised an eternal love? Will it break me or just let me continue to survive despite how sufferings greet me everytime I wake myself up in the morning?

But as a person who had a river of dreams with her only love, if this would be the last day of fighting for him then I should fight with all my might; letting this moment be the last day to give my all and continue to fulfill a promise which identity is unknown to believe in. If meeting him was a mistake from the start then let the pain wash me just to retrieve back my pride and then I'll let go. But if our red strings continued to tie us together then I shall continue and endure the trials before me just to revive the world that we both built together.

I stood before the door as I heard different voices from the other side of it. My mind was thinking if either I will enter the room to mingle with the family of the girl who stole my lover away or should I pretend sick and tell them that I couldn't join them. But right before I made my firm answer somebody tapped my shoulder and couldn't refuse anymore, it was Chris.

"Why aren't you coming in? Everyone is waiting" she gave another smile that I couldn't read anymore.

My brows twitched and smiled back, "I was hesitating to join" I said straight.

"Hesitating? You shouldn't!" grabbing my arms and pulled me in, "A friend of my husband will also be my friend! And a friend will always be a part of the family"

I had my heart stop a bit after hearing the name he called for Ryoma. Was she had the real right to call him that way?

But then my immense reaction faded when I saw a lot of people in the dining room. Rather than us who welcomed sweet smiles from these people, there were 3 ladies and one man who wore stylish and colored outfits that twisted his real gender. At the near left edge of the table was Ryoma and on the right end was a woman of age 50s but the doubt of her real age appeared, after seeing the complexion of her skin and the young look on her face, and yes with no second thoughts she was Chris's mother. The resemblance didn't fail me to realize it after all.

"She's here" Chris said as she slightly pushed me from behind.

"G-Good morning" I added with a trembling voice and it made me feel more embarassed.

"Please take a seat dear" her mother spoke while pointing me an empty chair opposite of Ryoma's.

I nodded, followed by a formal thank you. Walking towards the empty seat for me, I noticed that there were a lot of papers, compilations and a thick book around the table. I tried to take a peek to see what it was and in great shock, it made me hold back too much. Those were all wedding books filled with gowns, dresses, nice receptions and all sorts of things connected to the coming occassion. I wanted to hide my expression after seeing them, but I think I failed...

"We're already planning for the wedding" Chris looked at me straight that gave me a huge hit and a hurtful pinch.

"Oh... I see" I looked away with an unknown face.

After a minute or so, a lady dressed in maid outfits approached and placed a tea glass in front of me, pouring green tea on it. Somehow it made me smile a bit after smelling the sweet auroma of the tea, thinking that I was already missing the atmosphere of my real home and gave me the urge to go back where I really belong. I took a few sips from the tea and after another, I found two persons staring at me. They were Ryoma and the woman at the other end of the table. When I looked at him, my face started to flush: the least thing I wanted to happen.

"Tell me Sakuno, which one would suit me best" Chris interrupted while she handed over an opened book.

"Ah" I snobbed my look away from Ryoma and tried to focus on what Chris was trying to say and not to remember anything happened last night, "What is it?"

"I really don't know what to choose and since you're a girl like me, I thought asking you which wedding gown would look best for me"

BAM! I got weak "Let's see..." My whole body was boiling. I started to flip from page to page and didn't know which one to answer. Then I felt inconsistently troubled and conscious about the people around me. And when I couldn't help anything at my state, I randomly pointed out a dress. "I think this will look better". But as sooner as I looked at the gown thoroughly I felt a more heartbreaking realization. I just recommended a dream wedding dress to a woman who will marry the one I love. I was hanging myself in the air and couldn't move a single thing.

"It's really pretty Sakuno! Thank you!" I watched her smile in delight and me on the other hand just forced my tears to hold back even just for a minute. "Do you think it will suit me, Ryoma?"

"How about our next training, Sakuno?" Ryoma blurted causing me to stop and look at him in bizarre. "Don't tell me you forgot the Wimbledon Tournament!"

He suddenly asked me something out of nowhere. When all the things he said was clearly absorbed by my mind, I finally realized that he was helping me to ease the tension and the dissapointment about the wedding arrangements, "After 2 days the final tournament will arrive, have you planned for our next training menu?" he gave me a big smile.

I faded my awful emotion, "Y-Yes, I was thinking of having a hard training this time since your next match looks like a really tough one"

"You two seems to be really emerged to tennis, right Chris?" her mother butted in to our conversation and Chris just nodded after she closed the book on her hands. "Tell me dear, have you really been into tennis ever since you were young?"

Her stare towards me looked like she was definitely judging me from head to toe. It gave me the creeps and the fear to answer her question. "Y...Yes. My family was in to the tennis sport and... I also inherited their love for it..."

"I see, but have you ever tried anything else except tennis?" she was really pointing out something horrible.

"I'm fond of studying and cooking but after I graduated I-"

"Not that dear, I mean like entering the life of entrepreneurship, getting yourself in to the business world, or expose yourself through televisions or magazines? Or modelling perhaps? I was wondering if you had ever tried exploring other existence of life rather than tennis. You see life isn't just about your desired sport"

I looked down and felt awful about what she was telling me. My whole personality was crushed and I was totally humiliated. I watched my hands shaking over my lap and as I firmed them together as a fist I answered her with a straight answer, "No"

"That's bad..." she said and I was even more hurt to hear those words.

I already had the feeling of standing up and leave the room instantly, but I've got no esteem to continue. The whole Sakuno... the whole me had finally collapsed in just two words and if ever that would be added even just one then I might lose all my consciousness and plan to disappear forever.

"Chris" Ryoma spoke over the silent room, "Why don't we tour the garden? We will be leaving tomorrow morning and it would be a pity if we won't see other things rather than the whole house and the hot springs right?"

"I like that! We will have more time together"

"With Sakuno I mean"

It made me surprised. Anyone from the whole room can notice the sudden rise of pressure and silence. I couldn't tell if it was a good sign or not, if he was helping to decrease my fears or have his heroic act again. Moreover, it gave a deeper meaning to the people who heard Ryoma's words: me, Chris and of course, Chris's mother.

The sun was already high and the heat was merely hot than before. We walked through the huge trees to another in a pile of stones--which I walked into from the other night. The huge shades kept us from being harmed by the sunlight and with the wind that blew us made the feeling more relaxing. There were only three of us on the walk. Chris's mom decided to stay back in the house and the other guests already left after breakfast. Since Chris owned the whole villa, she was narrating stuffs such as what were the things around us and why their villa was too huge for them. She was a few inches ahead of us leaving me and Ryoma behind her. The picture was to odd but made me feel secured. Because during that time, he stood there beside me and didn't walk with her. It gave me a hint of reason to continue the fight I was thinking that morning. A few steps later, we passed through the wide pond, the same from what I saw last night. But that was the only time I noticed the fishes living in the clear waters. I looked on the ground and saw the pebbles that made me think of the sea and the scene.

"If you'll follow those pebbles, you'll head yourself to the sea"

"I know" I said abruptly.

"You know?" she looked at me again with suspicion, "Have you gone to the sea?"

I got myself alarmed and created a panic inside me, thinking what I should say as an excuse. If I said something wrong, it will lead us to the question where we left that early morning.

"Why don't we go to the veranda and have some drink?" Ryoma stopped her again, making me feel relieved. But then...

"I'm still asking a question! Sakuno, when did you go to the sea?" her mood swang instantly that made me step back in shock. I could see her face filled with anger and puzzlement. "Where were you last night when I visited your room?!"

We all stopped.

I watched her face trembling and easily faded as she cooled herself down. There was a bad moment growing around us and the three of us kept quiet to make things back to normal. My face was still in surprise and I read Ryoma's face speechless from Chris's sudden burst. Chris just looked down and didn't continue anymore.

"Chris... I was..." I tried to help her calm down even more, but she turned her back at me and walked again.

"Forget what I said. Let's go back and have some drink... I'm exhausted" As a woman, I had myself guarded down. Just by how she reacted and what she expressed, it was definitely awful for anyone who will see. Then oddly, I felt pity and pathetic.

"Let's go" Ryoma spoke. When I looked at him, he only had a blank expression on his face. He grabbed my hand and started to drag me out of my place.

"S-Sure" I answered, but after that he never released my hand.

We passed another bunch of trees and ended up through a cemented wall covered with vines of leaves. Still he held my hand as if we were alone together. I tried pulling mine away but whenever I did, he tend to tighten the grip and told me _don't_ and so... I didn't. We stepped through a short stairs and still we held hands. Chris never looked back to us and it made me feel more relieved. Ryoma and I acted as if we were the only ones existing and yes, I was very happy to see us together that way; as if the end from last night still continued in the morning and there was no one to stop us. The side of winning in the fight was jumping beyond my wall and I was glad that everything was moving from how I wanted it to be.

"We are here..." Chris finally talked and it's time to let go. She looked at us with a frowning face and I couldn't resist the feeling she was having.

The next thing happened was that we were all seating in a round white marble table with a view of the wide sea ahead us. There was a huge umbrella that covered the heat of the sun. A moment later Chris's mom arrived and joined us, followed by another round of maids serving us cold drinks of juice and slices of chocolate fondue. The cicadas started buzzing a loud sound and the wind mixed with it, blowing all our stress away. Ryoma unexpectedly sat right next to me and it made me cause another panic again, thinking what these mother and daughter would probably think.

"Eat it" he said, pushing the small plate towards me. "You'll like it"

"Sure" I answered as I took the spoon and sliced a small amount and ate. My eyes glittered, "Delicious!"

"I told you!" Ryoma slightly chuckled and gave a smile towards me, "You like sweets and I'm always sure you'll love that treat"

"You never fail to amaze me, Ryoma-kun" we were acting so happy together without noticing that there were four eyes watching over us.

"Ehem..." Chris's mother ended the moments, "How come you always smile Ryoma?" but Ryoma ignored the question. I saw her face being so displeased and gulped a few drinks from the juice. "Anyway, Sakuno dear..." she looked at me and I felt tense once more. Her eyes were the worst pair I hated looking at me, "Since when did you meet Ryoma?"

I glanced at Ryoma and looked back at the woman, "I-I met him during my first year in high school"

"That long? It's quite amazing that you still have a connection with him despite of the many years, as if there's something that's keeping you together"

"We were just childhood friends, ma'am"

"Childhood friends rarely see each other again after the last day they met, so isn't it a bit ironic?"

"I was just sent to America as a tennis coach and I met him as my student"

"Tennis buddies is a nice name to call you two"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, you were friends through tennis and still at the end you were related through tennis, isn't it sad?"

I couldn't get the point the old woman was referring to, but I was sure it was something to degrade my whole being again. And I knew within myself that I hated how that woman wanted to destroy my self-esteem and my bond with Ryoma... as a tennis coach and as a 'lover'. "I don't quite understand ma'am"

"Stop the formality dear. I know I'm old and you don't need to respect me that much. You know perfectly well what I mean. As a coach you're only obliged to teach your student with the things you need to let them know and as a **friend** you are only to approach when you need to." Her pitch was getting thicker and stronger, and the more she spoke another round of words it already stroke me hard. "You will be a coach and a friend and will always be"

"AUNTY!" Ryoma...

"MOM!" Chris....

They stopped the rising friction of the conversation. My whole body was overly pushed through the chair and my eyes were clearly exposed from the shock. My visions lost its focus and my head had gone wild with the emptiness of it. I couldn't feel anything around me and couldn't absorb everything that surpassed me. I heard Chris whining over her mother and Ryoma calling my name through short murmurs but I ignored all of them. I held back my own body and endure all the words that entered my head. Continuously it repeated and my it ached too much that I can't bare anymore. My eyes were starting to get full of tears once more but a wild shake in my body made me blink and all of these feelings disappear in one flash.

"Sakuno!" I saw Ryoma before my face looking at me with a really worried look. "Your phone is ringing!" he said and finally I got myself back to normal.

"My phone?" I repeated, not understanding what he meant. Chris and her mother watched me and I felt disturbed. When another shake gave me another alarm and a tune that was too familiar to me, I realize what he was clearly telling me. "Ah, sorry..."

Taking out the phone and seeing who was calling me in an unexpected moment, I got myself puzzled. "Please excuse me..." I bowed and left. The best timing to leave the unbearable conversation of my life. I went to a quiet corner back inside the house and pulled out the phone.

"Hello?" I answered, "Who is this?"

"_SAKUNO!_" the man's voice on the other line screamed in delight. Me on the other hand got surprised and couldn't tell who owned the familiar voice on the next line.

"Who is this?" I asked again.

"_Hey, it's been a month or so, and you already forgot me?_"

Collecting all the names I can find to fit for the voice, I came up with one possible answer, "Makoto?"

"_Finally, you remember!_"

"What? But how?!" my overwhelming glee was too much that I didn't know what to say, "Makoto!!"

"_Hey, Hey! Don't be so happy like that! I'm missing you too much_"

"How come you only called just now?"

"_Well, I was too busy with the loads you left and attending your lessons in replacement_"

"I'm really sorry~ Don't worry I'll be back"

"_Already? But it's just a month since you left Japan!_"

I was stopped from what I said. I wanted to speak about something but I couldn't continue. Not on the phone, "_All of us here are proud of you to be in the Wimbledon Tournament! We always watch the matches of your student and you are really amazing_"

"He was born as a great tennis player. He's already a prodigy even before I became his tennis coach. Obviously, he's better than I am, so what do you expect?"

"_Eh? If he was... then why did he get you as his tennis coach?_"

Another stop... and another thing to be think of. "Actually... I don't know too"

"_That's weird! By the way, how are you? Are you doing fine? How are you and Ryoma? And who is this Chris appearing on the TV?!_"

"Hey... Not too many questions! I don't know where to start!" I felt my body becoming weaker and desperate. Leaning on the wall, I sighed heavily over the phone.

"_Sakuno, are you alright?_"

I looked down and saw someone's feet before me. My eyes were getting all wet again, but I was not intending to cry. I was just touched that at the time of my need of comfort, Makoto was always there for me. And just like a few minutes ago I was depressed and tore apart, he exactly called at my least unexpected moments. He really never failed to make me happy... He never did.

"I'm fine! Healthy like before" I looked at the person in front of me, "We are also doing fine. Just like the usual things I used to tell you over the nights. I'm happy to see him again actually. And about Chris~" I looked away from him, "...Chris is his fiancee!" I smiled, "They will be married after the tournament..."

"_What?!_"

I laughed hardly though sarcastically, "Surprising isn't it? I couldn't believe myself too when I found out but that's how it goes..."

"_Are you alright with that? Sakuno, you don't sound good_"

"Of course I'm good with it! Don't worry Makoto, I'm definitely fine!"

"_I really know you very well and I'm happy that you're still the same Sakuno as before_"

"That's very nice to hear, Makoto"

"_But you know, I'll always be here for you... so don't, no... __**never **__hesitate to approach me if you need me, okay?_"

"I know you will always will! Thank you Makoto! I'm going to hang up now"

"_Okay, I'll call you again sometime these days!_"

"Thanks..." then I ended the call and placed it back to my pocket.

I stared at him again and saw his eyes full of jealousy. Somehow I read his mind and made me thankful for what he felt. But even if he did felt that way, it felt nothing compared to what I was suffering through my whole life. He took a step forward and placed his hand on the wall passing my left shoulder.

"Who is this Makoto?" he questioned.

"He's my assistant in the tennis company back in Japan. He's also my closest friend right after the graduation. He's a very nice person actually, he never failed to be with me when I need someone to talk to. Makoto is an amazing guy, though not amazing as you are when it comes to tennis. Actually, he's like a young Sakuno who looks like a first timer in the sport. But just like the young me, he still loves tennis despite his poor skills in it." I intended to say those things. Maybe I just wanted to piss him off because I was already at my sarcastic state after the phone call. Again, he raised his other hand and placed it, hardly this time, on the wall passing my right shoulder. He cornered me through his matured arms and moved his head to my left, whisphering to my ear.

"Do you like him?"

"Yes..." I answered and clearly I felt his twitch after hearing them... so I continued, "though as a friend. You know the person I really love, Ryoma... and with no doubt and exceptions I love that person more than you can ever think of"

He removed his hands and moved his body away from me. "I'm sorry about earlier..."

"It's okay... I also thought the same way before... however it struck me badly that it made me unconscious"

"I'm terribly sorry..."

"Ryoma..." the thought came inside my head and disturbed me, "I wanted to ask... what are you going to do about the wedding?"

"I'm going to turn it down. Sakuno, you knew as well who I really love, so please hold on with me and bear with it for the last time..."

I looked away and said, "I'll try..."

"No" he touched my face and moved it straight back to his eyes, "You will"

After another peak of my day, I hit the sack with all the exhaustion, depression and confusion stuck on my body. The dinner already ended and it was the worst dinner I ever experienced. The foods were served and none of us talked to each other. There was a complete silence inside the room and when we were done, all of us left and went back to our own rooms. Chris's mother encouraged us to go to sleep earlier that night because we will be leaving first thing in the morning the next day. I also excused myself since I felt awfully ill that time and headed directly to my room. I took a rest, liked how the comfort made me feel relaxed as I pushed myself more on it. The aching muscles relievingly disappeared as I made a thorough stretching. Then, I paused.

Staring the wide space above me, I wondered what happened about the day of my supposed to be 'fighting' moment. It neither let Chris win the fight due to Ryoma's actions towards me the whole day. He showed me that he cared and left a last notice right after Makoto's call. Still, despite how Ryoma acted to me, I still felt like my fight was pointless. I was standing and moving inside his fiancee's house and his future mother-in-law spoke to me certain words as if I can never change anything at all. And then I thought, _maybe I was too confident over myself about winning, but actually the reality for me was losing_. This made my whole body shiver in fright.

I stood up, stared the floor and took steps away from the bed. Apparently, I was disturbed and obnoxious about what I had in mind. I was stirring all the words that Chris's mother and Ryoma told me. I tried to put them together and think what should I do next. Because in a fight without knowing your next plan, you'll end up losing ridiculously. The space near the end of the bed caught my attention. The silhouette of the moonlight affected my emotions, causing me to run over the open window and stare the moon looking back at me. Deeply, I stared at it; hoping that it will answer my questions somehow. Yet, it only paid me a heavy blow of wind and a goosebump that reacted on my fare skin. I was perfectly denied.

A moment or so, I heard my door creaked open. I looked back to see who it was and surprised, I watched the person walked towards me. It was Chris with a face I can't draw at all.

"Sakuno, I'm sorry about a while ago..." she spoke with a very silent and calm voice.

"It's okay..." looking away and back to the moon, I wanted to change the topic, "The view here is really nice. I like how it feels by just watching everything-"

"I know what's going on, Sakuno" she cried. My reflexes tried not to respond but my head turned on its own. Just to see her awful face which was worse than the face she created that morning in the garden, I can't answer at all. "I know that behind the coaching and Ryoma being your student, you both have a relationship". She looked at me with dispicable eyes with her tears flowing continuously. The complexion of her skin turned red and it sting me like I was the one at fault, "I know ever since that you love Ryoma and he loves you back... and I know clearly well that I can't do anything to stop this intimacy... to turn this love against you"

Still my words didn't come out of my mouth. My eyes just watched everything around me. Christ started to take her steps towards me. Raising her hand up and down, she blurted out her real emotions that even I couldn't believe. "I've been keeping all my grudges ever since I met you. When I saw you back at the tournament, I knew it was you. I never thought and treated you as Ryoma's coach! Whenever I look at you, I always think that you're the only person that Ryoma really love; and by just thinking that makes me feel awful!!"

She was already standing so close to me. By that distance I can see the details inside her eyes, how she feels and I could sense the reaction of her body as she continued, "I hate you! I despise you! Why is it only you that Ryoma can see? Why did you arrive now when I was about to get his love for my own good? You're unfair Sakuno!"

"I was not fair, Chris..." my words came out, "I didn't do anything wrong! We promised a long time ago and that made our relationship stronger! I came because I have a promise to continue"

"The promise never exist! He accepted the marriage five years ago, right before he made his promise with you! I was the first one who arrived in his life and you're just second!"

After hearing her statement, I got myself paralyzed by knowing the truth. Meaning, my fighting was a total rubbish from the start. My waiting for several years was nothing but my own privilege. The promise that we both said at the last day of graduation was nothing but my pure hallucination and childish fantasies.

"That's why..." she whimpered and fell down on her knees, grabbing my feet as she begged, "Go back to Japan! Forget everything about you and Ryoma! Forget him in your life! I know it's easy for you! Waiting for five years is the same as forgetting him! It's easy for you, Sakuno! You can do it best than me! I love him so much I can't bare seeing him with you! I love Ryoma that I would even risk my career for him! I would still love him even though I lose my life!" then another round of whimpering that I can't stand. Her voice echoed inside my head. I tried to stop my tears from falling but still it forced itself to come out.

That time, I lost my sense of understanding. I lost my will to stand and keep myself strong even though the other person was breaking. Even my life, I lost the big reason to survive. Then that made me realize... I was never been a winner and until the end I lost my fight. Loving someone always end up in big risks. You can't tell if you need to sacrifice or you'll keep going on until the end. But one thing's for sure, when you had given everything you've got, pushed your own pride just to have what you want, finish all the things you need to accomplish, just to tell the whole world you are soo damn happy... everything will still fail. When you always want to feel the victory in your heart, sometimes it's not bad to raise your own flag and surrender. Somehow, it turns out that it's for the good's sake than to feel the worst part of life.

"Please... Sakuno" she burried her face on my knees, "...leave while everything is not yet too late"

I bend myself over her, removed the tears on her cheeks and said, "I can't do anything, can I?"  
The next thing I saw was her face drenched again with unstoppable tears as she pushed her body over mine. She leaned her face on my slim shoulders and I felt the water marking on my shirt. I didn't have any guts to believe and wait anymore. I was very sorry for myself.

We headed ourselves back on the road. The car was filled with silence and the only thing you can hear was the buzzing noise of the engine. I kept myself quiet and didn't want to be disturbed at the same seat as before. Watching the random things happening and living on the other side of the window, I closed my mouth shut. Ever since we left Chris's villa, we neither laughed nor discuss something hilarious. The atmosphere was the same back when we were going to the trip. I even thought that maybe my feelings will also fade just like how the comfort made me feel numb and dead. So I decided to close my eyes and forced myself to sleep.

But the dark vision I saw captivated me. Instead of dreaming a different and happy dream... something from the past came over and destroyed me all over again. That dream narrated the day when I thought was the last day of my life. A day when everyone was so happy leaving their alma matter yet I was so depressed to know that the only person I love for all of my life was about to leave me... more than the years I expected. The promise that we vowed over the grounds of the school pinched my heart into pieces. I saw flashes of his smiles and his laughters then my vision broke and I cried... seeing myself torn apart over the unbearable heart ache I experienced by just meeting him again. Then at the very end, I found myself shouting at everyone, laughing so foolishly and embaracing myself over the people looking at me, telling them that I was a loser and will always will; I held the whole world behind me and I let it destroy my pillars of life. And by the perfect ending of my tragic story, I killed myself for being alive... like a heroine sacrificing her life for the best.

"I'm heading back to my room" I spoke while I took my luggage away from the trunk of the car. Ryoma went out and helped me with my bags, but before he could even touch them they were already in my hands, "I can do it on my own" I said with a cold voice I never wanted him to hear. I never tried to look in his eyes and all through out, I avoided him.

"I'll help you"

"No thanks" I insisted and left with a cold impression.

Passing through the elevators, hallways and empty corners, I ended up exactly in my room. The lemon scent of the hotel welcomed me while I placed all my things beside the table. When I sat on the very edge of the bed, that was the only time when I had finally felt all my depression and exhaustion dropped from heaven and I couldn't hold on with the heaviness on my shoulders. So I tried standing up and move to put myself together. _Maybe a twist from my daily routine would help me forget the helplessness_, I thought. But my whole body reacted and shivered. I went to look for a piece of paper and a pen... then I started to write.

About the tennis match, how I should plan the next tennis practice, what would be the best advantages to gain a whole love-game in the finals of the tournament, I decided to write them all in. Besides, all I could think of myself was being the tennis coach of the greatest tennis player in the whole world. I can make myself useful by letting him win another round of consecutive games. But when I filled up the empty paper with all the things I can do, I stopped and swallowed a whole air through my mouth. "He will do great even if I was not with him..." I murmured, marking the whole sheet with a big X on it. The pen suddenly dropped from my hands and I saw myself shaking on its own. Water marked the paper and found myself crying once again.

My hand reached through my pocket and hurriedly took out my mobile phone. With my fingers uncontrollable, I searched for his name on my contact list and pushed the call button as fast as I could. I heard the other line in a continuous beat and when I heard the line answered by him, I bursted out in sorrowful moans.

"_Sakuno_" he said.

"Makoto... I can't bear it anymore..." crying...

"_Hey, put yourself together, tell me what's wrong_"

"I lied. We were not doing well! I don't know if he loves me or not! I thought seeing him again was a good idea! But I was totally wrong!"

"_Sakuno... don't lose hope now! You're already there and don't waste your chances_"

"I never had chances... and never will. I got myself fooled with such sweet words and now I'm killing myself over the pain"

"_Calm down..._"

When Makoto said those words, I couldn't help but to shed more tears and burried myself with all the moan. My head ached from all the whining and my cheeks were dripping wet. One, Five, Ten minutes passed and all I ever did was to cry and cry and cry. Non-stop round of crying and my heart raced with the pressure.

"_Sakuno..._" I could feel his plead to make me stop, but even though I wanted to I can't. "_Cry until you have nothing left..._"

"It hurts so much, Makoto... I don't know what to do"

"_If only I was there to comfort you..._"

"I'm terribly sorry..."

"_You don't need to apologize, you know I'm always here for you... and even if he left you without notice I would still be here_"

"Makoto..."

"_So what are you planning now?_"

"I'm going back..." I repeated, "I'm going home~"

Before that day ended, I got myself a ticket back to Japan. I packed all my bags and ready myself to leave. I glanced my room for the last time. I recalled all the things that happened to me inside that room... the good and happy memories though. And when I finally closed the door, I finally bid my goodbye. When I passed the door next to mine, I gave out a smile and pulled my luggage. Aside from being his childhood friend, a supporter, a fan, a lover or whatever he treats me, just plainly as a tennis coach I never pleased myself by leaving the same day on my student's final match. That made me feel worthless as a tennis fan and a human as well.

After a few days and hours of travelling, I finally arrived in tmy real homeland. I don't need to pretend with artificial and look-a-like things since I can look for the real ones in my real home. I don't need to speak a foreign language I'm not used to since all of the people in my homeland will understand what I say. Having myself back to where I was supposed to be was a big relief and a big achievement. I was thankful that I can be happy with myself standing alone. Because even if I left my heart and pride in Europe I still have my life and my future with me. Just by that, I can move myself and be better on my own. It might take time for me to move on, but just like what Chris told me, waiting for 5 years is no difference when it comes with forgetting. The year gap may look a lot, but for me it's like a bite ant; it easily fades away.

"Sakuno!" somebody called my name beyond the huge crowd of japanese people in the airport. I was eager to see that man's face and couldn't resist the happinness I was feeling inside.

I found him. "Makoto!"

"Welcome back!" with open arms he welcomed me.

"I'm home!" and in return I took those arms around me and embraced him through the waist. "I missed you!"

"Me too! It's nice to see you again!" It felt totally different from the way I embraced Makoto instead of Ryoma. Though they were both men, the structure and the warmth was not the same. This made me feel dissapointed. But then, I ended up preferring the arms of the man I was holding into than the ones I used to embrace back in Europe. There was no pain and coldness, and it made me feel secure.

Makoto accompanied me to his car. He insisted himself to carry my things and I can't resist when it's him. I watched myself being with him and I missed the old moments I had. The old days, the usual conversations, the childish plays and the time when he hugs me for comfort. When he was a few inches ahead of me, I stared his back and imagined how happy my life could be if I had met Makoto instead. But my imaginations had brought me to my recklessness and my dizziness devoured my whole body. My visions split into two and I found two men, the first was the man I ran into and the other was the man I left. My heart hardly paused and it caused me to break down... almost.

He dropped my bags and rescued my fall, "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine... It might be because of the trip..."

Helping me to get back my posture, he took the bags again and stood behind me and guided me through the walk.

He drove the car and I sat next to him in the passenger seat. We had a classic music played on the radio and to adden up, we had a few conversations about the friends I left when I went to New York and never did he ask anything about me and my experience there. A lot of things I wanted to see again yet there were somethings I wanted to forget. I looked at the clock and noticed that it was late in the afternoon, thinking what time could it be and what was happening during the last game in the Wimbledon Tournament. However I talked to myself, _I thought I already fixed myself that when I get back to Japan I'll forget everything_.

But it felt like my other half seperated from my body and nagged at me. _You will never forget him, now at this state_. Then, my dizziness returned and my head pumped heavily. I couldn't understand the flow of my blood and can't control my mind from recalling everything. It felt like my memories burst out and all the things happened, the sad ones and the happy ones, scattered. I got myself at the peak of holding back and I heard Makoto calling my name a lot of times. My whole body swayed from left to right. The vision of the cars and the people along the road started to get blurry and later on they slowly faded. Again, I pushed myself back as my temperature turned really cold, making me shiver all through out. Together with Makoto pulling over the car in one side of the road, I hurriedly open the door beside me and I ended up throwing up. I threw up a lot and tears appeared behind my eyes. I didn't cry because of the pain of love, that's for sure.

Another one and I started coughing heavily.

"Sakuno! What's wrong?!" I saw Makoto in great panic, "Wait, I'll get you some water!"

Another cough and vomit, I pulled out my hand and grabbed Makoto's shirt, "Don't..." I whisphered losing my grip and my senses. He screamed my name and I collapsed over him. He repeated the same words and I couldn't hold on any longer. My eyes slowly closed its lid and desperately I lost my consciousness.

oOo **End of Chapter** oOo

**(A/N):** Okay so, I have two kinds of epilogues and I'm puzzle which one I should post. So I guess, this would be best to let the readers know how you want it to be. A forever RyoSaku ending or something worse to pay Ryoma's treatment over the poor protagonist! x) Just tell me what you think and I would really love to give something that my readers wanted! xD Thank you, Thank you! m(= o =)m


	12. Epilogue

**We were never been too late, all love just ends**

**InuShikaCho**

oOo nukach'an oOo

**(A/N): **I'm on my final chapter, finally, the epilogue! First of all thank you for all the support. Yeah, I know that I failed when it comes to faster updates and good grammars, but just to let you know I'm really not good in english! I am not a teacher or a professional when it comes to the language, so basically all I have is just basic terms, stock & applied vocabularies. I only used WordPad for making the story, since my MS Word is having problems. I also don't have time to have a beta since just like any ordinary people I'm busy with my personal life. That is why I do my best to proof-read the chapters for you. Don't worry, I will revise the whole story for grammars and such~ ^^;; Anyway, here is the epilogue. Thank you for all who gave me reviews and for loving/liking this fan fiction. You inspire me.

**Chapter Note: **Elicia is pronounced as Elisha. Sakuno and Makoto call her as "Ici-chan" pronounced as 'easy'. And of course Elicia is my sweet little cute OC.

**Disclaimer: **All Rights Reserved!

oOo **Epilogue **oOo

When a heart isn't paid back with what it wants, it becomes heroic to sacrifice and continue to love. It never cared less if others stare and treat it foolishly. The only thing that matters is the willingness to believe even though failure already waves back at you. They said that life surprise us differently. It gives us the least thing we expect in an hour and later on it welcomes us a warm realization; a realization that teaches you the real meaning of being alive. But have you ever noticed that when you try to contradict realism, your destiny stops in a big twist and everything starts to fall apart; ruining the expectations and dreams you wanted to have?

I used to believe in this thing that everybody used to call "fate". I was once a witness of it to happen. But it didn't take long when I almost stopped myself from believing it. Because just like a heart that stops beating in the extent of a man's happiness, I refused my fate to be with someone and decided to renew it with the other road that brought me to reality's destiny.

Right now I am old. My age will be removed from the calendar sooner but I am not afraid. There are a lot of things around me that tells me to push myself further and if I intend to stop once again, I'll be on that same position of losing everything and start from the very beginning. As people had said, to achieve something you want you need to sacrifice the most important thing in your life. I experienced a lot of troubles, trials and sufferings. Without them I never know where I will be right now. I still pursue my tennis career. The work I once left in Japan, I returned there to be able to earn and feed my family. However I was assigned to be a private tennis coach and will only be called if students desire to get me as their tutor. Enough salary to let my daughter buy the things she needs and give her good education in the future, this work is already enough. Never in my life again had I dreamed of something big. What I see around me and how much money inside my pocket costs already satisfy me. Nothing more, Nothing less; just exact, we will be happy.

My daughter is pretty young. We celebrated her four birthdays with Makoto, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and her friends. I give her gifts as a reward to the good deeds she do to the people around her. During weekend, me and Makoto invite her to the department store, go to the park or eat at a family restaurant in the city. I always wanted to let her feel special and never let her feel as if she's a mistake. Even though I almost died in my labor and at the edge of losing her, I continued to fight for her life. I don't know what else can happen to me if my daughter will be gone. Because even if she's the living proof my past, I protected her and named her Elicia.

"Elicia" Standing behind her playing the piano, I tapped her shoulder and whispered to her ear, "Uncle Makoto is here". I watched her from her seat as she tried to look at me with eager smile, hurriedly looking behind me and run after her uncle.

"Uncle Makoto!"

"Ici-chan, are you ready to leave?" Makoto asked her, closely with his right hand caressing my daughter's head.

"All the time I've been waiting for you Uncle Makoto!"

"I'm finally here, Ici-chan, so you no longer need to wait!" then, Makoto glanced at me and said, "Let's go Sakuno"

I responded with a nod.

How long has it been? Five years, already? It felt like it was a lifetime when I had that nostalgic scene before me. I was smiling, watching over the people I love to be happy and take their steps to reach their own dreams. Five years had passed since I recall myself going back to Japan and decided to stay here in my land forever. And it didn't take long when my decisions turned at me and told me to start myself a family with the baby I had inside me. I was surprised to know that I was having a daughter. But I never felt the chances to abort her life... not even once.

Then I wonder how he was already? That man I still adore up until now, is he happy? Has he reached his own dreams already? Because I can still remember the last moments I had the chance of seeing him agin. For that fact, I was sure he wasn't happy. He was wearing that face with full of agony and disappointment. With just his lips speaking and his existence standing before me, I felt his whole body crushing down just by seeing me. And without holding back anymore, my memories created a short play in my head... that I totally regretted.

_"Why are you here?"_ _I looked at his face with his eye brows meeting at the center of his forehead. But that expression he created didn't look up at me in anger, instead with pain and sorrow._

_"Why did you leave me?" he said._

_"There's nothing we should talk about, Ryoma" turning my body away, I started to walk._

_"We have!" he shouted at me, stopping myself to continue, "There are a lot of things we need to discuss!" grabbing my wrist, I paused. "Sakuno, there are a lot things that we need to make things right, just to get things back again!"_

_"Ryoma..." I glanced at him and saw his face at the very edge of crying. I got hurt, "Ryoma... there's no longer 'we'"_

_"What are you talking about?!"_

_"Can't you just understand?" pulling my hand, "You no longer exist here! I finally realized how foolishly I cling myself to you! And I already let go!"_

_"You just can't do that!"_

_"Yes, I can!" I shouted at him, pushing him finally away from me, "I already did! So, Ryoma, let's just stop this nonsense anymore!"_

_"Never in my life had I thought this became nonsense, Sakuno! Because all my life, I tried to work things out! All my life I hoped for that time to arrive when you will understand how much I sacrificed my all for you! So please don't talk to me as if you regret everything we had!"_

_"Yes!" I was merely crying, "Yes, I do! I do regret everything! It hurts so much to think that I fell over a river full of lies! That's why I swim away from that river just to survive!"_

_"Sakuno~"_

_"Didn't you say it? If we really were meant for one another, fate will bring us back together! But no, we were both wrong to believe with those words! From the start, we were really never fated! Because, just before we started this relationship, when you and I confessed, we were already too late!"_

_"No we don't!" he covered his face with his hand and I heard him whimper. For another moment, I watched his heart being tore apart by me. I felt sick, "Sakun… If we try things out... fix things together... change for the better... fight for our love... then we were never been too late."_

_His words reached me that I heard my heart ringing my whole life out. But if I had to believe with selfish words and a love that never failed to fall then we will just end up breaking ourselves once more. So, for me, for Ryoma, for Chris, and for all of us, this is the only thing I can do best, "But just like any relationships start... just like how a human life begins... our existence will soon leave us... because there's no such thing as eternity and just like it... all love just ends..."_

"Mama, are you alright?" Elicia woke me up from my memories as she pulled the end of my shirt, "You look sad..."

"Don't worry, Elicia, Mommy is fine!" I gave a smile that I hope my own daughter will never learn; a very sweet, pleasing smile that conceals the real status of what you feel inside. But I never had second thoughts, because I guess that's what we call 'human nature'.

With the three of us walking, through a path covered with clean and trimmed grass and nicely scattered tablets out of marble, we stopped in one certain tombstone that had an epitaph of a special person. Elicia's hand that was clinging in my own suddenly tightened, looking me with a smiling face. After a minute of staring and smiling, she finally let her grip out of my hand and walked fast to Makoto. I was standing near the grave, Makoto and Elicia stood behind me.

I kneeled down, took the flowers beside me and placed it perfectly above the grave. For a moment, I smiled and felt my tears appear from the corner of my eyes. Again, I placed my hand over the epitaph and traced each letters through my fingers as I spelled them as _Ryoma Echizen_. Finally, I cried.

"Mama..." Elicia spoke

"Ici-chan, mama is not crying because she's sad..." Makoto explained, "She's crying because she was able to see someone become happy"

"Happy? But Uncle... the person is dead, isn't he?"

"He might have lost his life but everyone knows that he's happy wherever he is now! And for sure, he's beside mama and you too"

"Me too? Uncle... is he an important person to mama?"

"Too much important that he became a big part of her life"

He was a part of my life that I never had the chance to forget even for once. It's like a certain reaction that will stick inside your head and creates a trauma inside of you. But in my case, it was not a frightening trauma but a deep happiness that even though it created big wounds we were still blessed to experience it; teaching us that it never mattered if you were right or wrong, you were the winner or the loser, just as long as you had given your best and do what you think you can for it to last. It may look like what you've done is not enough of fighting but the truth is it's quite too much.

_"Sakuno, is that you?"_

_With my eyes full of surprises, I was shock to see her face once again, "Chris?"_

_"It is you Sakuno! It's been a while" She ran towards me and gave me a big hug. In awe I couldn't do anything but to hug her back, "How are you?_

_"I-I am fine" 3 years since I last saw her in Europe and seeing her that day means only one thing: I'll be seeing him once again._

_"I knew I'll meet you here in Japan! I miss this place already..."_

_"I see..." snatching a small glimpse behind her, I was hoping that I could see him there. But sadly, all I see was a small kid hiding._

_"Ah, I forgot to introduce him to you!" pulling the kid in front of her, she said, "This is Dino, our son!"_

_Thinking of it must not be a 'surprising news' to me because I knew within myself that I was the one who pushed them together. "That's great..." but absorbing the thought makes me jolt in pain._

_A moment or so, I heard a door open near us and a small ring from a bell. The two of us were alarmed and we both looked who it was. We first saw his feet placed on a silver platform, followed by huge wheels and completely a man was sitting on a wheel chair. Another man, in black, stood behind him and was helping to move the chair. Again, I was in great shock._

_"I'm sorry, Sakuno..." I heard Chris utter these words but I couldn't respond from what I saw. Chris's son started running and went to the man shouting 'papa'—the most painful words and scene I saw._

_Exactly, another bell rang and another door opened. I had completely forgotten, behind me stood Makoto and a young child being held by him. In one instant swoop, two families collided in a painful meeting. The feeling was too heavy to bear. And as for a single mother, who has seen the only partner she could only accept being with a new family he tried to create, all I could do was to smile, look up to them and say..._

_"Oh yeah, this is Makoto and this pretty child is my daughter, Elicia" It was quite painful to talk. I could only bit the tip of my tongue just to burry the pain. I saw him move his head facing at us and looking at me with a fake smile and later on looking away, making me feel bad._

_"She's really pretty! Looks like her mother a lot!" Chris complimented_

_"But I think she resembles her father more..." I smiled and joked, "What happened to Ryoma-kun?"_

_There was complete silence and I watched her face turned dark, "I'm sorry Sakuno..." she bowed her head down and said, "Ryoma is suffering from a sickness. He's having tumor..."_

_I got paralyzed. _

_"But the doctor said he'll be fine! We'll be going back to America tonight! We found ways to get him cured"_

_"Chris... let's go..." I heard his voice and it lingered in me. It's impossible for that to happen._

_"Well... we'll be going now" her face shuttered in agony and I could see it clearly, "It's really great to see you here! Let's get a family reunion in the future: me, Ryoma and Dino then you, Elicia and your husband, Makoto!"_

_"Ah, sorry to intrude" Makoto walked closer to us, "But I'm not her husband! I'm just a mere best friend of Sakuno... It's really nice to meet you"_

_The scene ended with their faces filled in great shock that I couldn't paint at all._

Obviously, Elicia was Ryoma's daughter too. I was happy but quite sad after knowing it. Makoto wanted to take responsibility for the child, but I refused. I told him that it was my fault why all of that happened so I took the child and the burden as a blessing and a punishment for my act. Makoto tried to comfort me and tried to make me understand that it was just love and it was not really a fault of anyone. Experiencing pain and being left behind is a part of falling in love. It's neither a punishment nor reality. It's a nature of life. He even told me that he still loved me and he will always be. But I rejected him to think that I would love only one person and will always be, too.

Our world was not compatible at all. He had a wider life ahead but mine was smaller. He was carrying a high title beneath his name but I only carried my own name by how I present myself to other people. Despite that fact, we fell in love to one another. However it's sad to say that we put an end to our love just to make things clearer and easier. I knew that feeling because I did everything to make the best; and loving him was really the greatest part of my life.

If the world is eager enough to show me real happiness, then I will proudly embrace it. If it throws me thorns then, with open arms, I will endure the pain. But when the time comes when it asks for me to give up and wants me to stop, then, with no doubt, I will. Even if I'm the one to be left behind, if that's the only way to make things right, if it will make him happy... then I will forget him. It may not be that easy, but I can take it step by step. Each day will be a step of burning the ashes of my memories. But in every single ash is a proof of my own love and dreams. For the final day of my final step is the day when I will completely open up to someone else and if it's possible to do that, then my new adventure begins.

"It's quite unexpected but it seems like today is our family reunion, right Sakuno?" a woman's voice was heard a few feet away from us. We all looked back and glanced to that person and, with a friendly and true smile, I welcomed her.

"Chris!" I stood up and walked closer to her.

"Though, it's sad since one member is not present here..."

"Condolence..." I looked down in respect, "I'm sorry, too. I wasn't able to go to the funeral last year..."

"Today is his first death anniversary, isn't it?" she smiled, "It's also funny to see two ladies of his life"

"And we all know, who he chose, right?" this time was painless, "I wanted to attend your wedding but I couldn't leave because I was giving birth to Elicia"

"It's okay. I understand" suddenly, she took out her bag and rummaged a few things inside, "There's something I want to give you"

A few seconds, she took out a black notebook and handed it over to me, "During Ryoma's last willing testament, your name was included in the discussion. One of his wills was to give this note for you. I don't know what's inside of it. I didn't ask the lawyer. I didn't read it too, so completely I know nothing at all. Only I remembered that a month before he died, he was writing something inside his room. He never told me anything about what it was. But I think it's this..."

I took the notebook out of her hands and stared it out of the blue. In confusion, I looked at Chris again and then she added her words, "This might be the last time we'll see each other! Dino and I will be staying in London and we don't know when we will visit his grave next. I'll do my best to be just like you Sakuno; someone who is braver and independent. I know that a lot happened from the past, but I hope you'll forgive me..."

"Love is conditional. We sacrifice and fight for the things we want. So I do understand..."

The wind blew our hearts out. I knew that this day will arrive: when everything will fall in to right places and everyone will be happy. After ending our conversations in a deep sigh, we looked at one another and gave a healthy laugh.

"Well, I think this is goodbye!" Chris smiled in happiness, "Visit us in London when you can! I hope I can contact you anytime around!"

"I will! Thank you!" waving at her as she turned around leaving, I heard her spoke.

"Lastly, Sakuno, Ryoma didn't accept my love to him. The last time we met was the day after we adopted a child, which was Dino. A year after our wedding, he arranged an annulment. He still chose you in the very end and he's happy to know that Elicia was his daughter"

I was stunned in my place, unable to comprehend the things she had said. But I knew that within my heart I completely understood them. Yet the feeling that grew inside me was quite unknown. It was a mix of regret, happiness, frustration and love. With the feelings that were dwelling inside more, I opened the notebook and flipped its pages. In one group of lines, I read:

_A lot of things had me realized how much I must not waste any chances that pass through. And when the moment of all-things-are-going-to-fall-apart arrives, there's only one thing you can always do... believe and have more faith about you and the people involved; because if the thought of "too late" will continue to exist in your mind then you can't really do anything. It will be the start of your ending and the beginning of nothing; and worse, the start of the final ending and just perfectly the ending. That's why, if people only believed in what we call "eternity", then it's not over yet._

**oOo THE END oOo**

**(A/N): **Again, thank you for all those who supported me in this fic! Thank you for those readers who sent me inspirational messages and gave me the chance to finally finish this story. Sad to say, that this might be my last update for now! College life is here and I need to focus myself on my studies! Aside from that, this might be my last story for a sweet romance of RyoSaku because I'm going to switch my preference to a new genre. Well that excludes the prequels/sequels/alternate chapters and revisions for some of my RyoSaku stories! Just keep me inspired and persuade me more x) that's a great help for me to do them! :D THANK YOU!


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